TippyTraining

Yoga

2011-06-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't done yoga in months. I bought a new yoga mat. It was woven by a group in India - fair trade, etc.. It is supposed to be guaranteed for 15 years. I don't know if I like it. It doesn't grip as well as the sticky mat does and it kinda hurts my hands in certain positions. In fact, my hands still had marks on them an hour later.

Maybe if I weighed less.....

Whenever I am away from yoga for any length of time, I miss it and also worry that I won't remember the poses or won't be able to do the poses. Turns out my body is pretty good.

And it turns out that my body missed yoga! I haven't felt this good after exercise in ages!

Our bodies seem to have this amazing memory.

Thank God.

And I felt completely serene and relaxed afterward. Meditative.

Or was that the glass of white wine I had afterward?

Running

2011-06-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

It is a gorgeous day! I must run! I no longer have to run, I may run because I want to. And today I want to.

Well, I don't really want to. I am afraid to start running again because I haven't run much since the marathon. I am afraid I won't be able to run. How does one go from running 26.2 miles to not running at all? Chalk it up to running burnout. And, boy, did I have running burnout.

But I am armed with new running shoes. I left my marathon shoes with a girl in Uganda. She is tall and I thought she could use them.

What a difference new running shoes make.

I ran two miles and I ran it well. Could I have run longer? Probably, but let's not die on the first day.

I ran well: good posture, sassy outfit, new shoes, good breathing technique. I had it all.

Next time I will run 3 miles.

I do enjoy running.

Gotta Lose the Weight!

2011-06-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

I ran the marathon and then didn't do a damn thing for months. Didn't stop eating. Didn't work out. Now I've gained all of the weight back that I lost. All 35 pounds. I know that yo-yoing isn't good, but I gained everything back. The good news is that I know how to lose it.

I hate that I have to lose it, but lose it I must.

I have borderline high cholesterol. I am only 41! I need to get in shape.

I have to think about why I want to lose weight and why I want to be fit:

I feel so amazing when I eat well and exercise. I need to remember that feeling all the time.
I feel like a horse's ass when I don't eat well and don't exercise. I need to remember that bloated, fat feeling.
I can recover from illness much faster when I am in shape. I have to remember that the surgery I had could be necessary again. I want to recover quickly again.
I am not getting younger and the better I take care of myself now, the longer I will live a high quality life....I hope. That's what they tell me.

There are probably other reasons, but I have listed the above for now. This blog will serve to document my journey again. AGAIN! Seriously, how many times am I going to document this journey? This better be it.

This blog coupled with tippykayak will document my weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey and will also document any recipes I try and other things I do to be healthy and fit. Stay tuned. I will also put flattering pictures up. So you will have to wait until I have some.....

I did it!

2010-10-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

I ran the bitch!

Well, most of it.

Well, I finished as an ultramarathoner.

I am a slow runner and was allowed to start the race earlier than others with other snails like me. When asked when I expected to finish the marathon if I started at 7 a.m., I said "Tuesday."

I did find a new buddy. She runs as slowly as me. I have never run with anyone before and didn't think that I would like it. Turns out, I kinda do.

We started the race at 7 a.m. It was still dark outside. And it was chilly. I was wearing my West Side Rowing Club jacket because it is warm, lightweight, kinda waterproof, and super cool.

The route was supposed to be well-marked. Turns out it wasn't. We ran about a half mile out of the way and had to backtrack. In retrospect, we should have kept right on going, but we didn't. We turned around.

You might be thinking, when you've run 26.2 miles, what's another mile? You might need to be slapped upside the head.

It was at around mile five that we were passed by the "serious runners." These are the runners who do this for fun and do this more than once. They also wear the funny sock shoes with toes and compression socks.

And I have to tell you that I find compression socks sexy. Or is it that I find those wearing compression socks sexy? Who can say? But looking at the serious runners speed past us I am reminded that runners are hot. They have nice bodies...and I liked looking at the men and women. I wasn't going to discriminate. Equally hot in compression socks.

I don't think anyone is getting laid wearing those stupid sock sneakers, though.

Not sexy.

Also not sexy, me at about mile 26.2.

I don't know how I finished this blasted marathon, but I did. I cried when I finished because I had to walk some of it. I wanted to run all of it. Then I thought, um, you just went 26.2 and then some. I think if you walked some of it, that's okay.

I also found out that I like the chocolate goo that they were handing out at several mile markers. No idea who makes it or what's in it, but thank you for giving it to me. It helped me get through.

And so did my buddy.

BTW, we came in DFL. DFL.

But we came in.

I was also upset about finishing last. My partner asked me, "Do you know what the finisher's medal looks like for the first person to cross the finish line and for the last person to cross?"

I was dumbfounded. I thought it was a trick question. It was.

"They are exactly the same."

Right you are. They are exactly the same.

Afterward I showered. One of the best showers of my life. I told my husband to hurry his ass up because I was hungry. He tends to putter. Then I got cranky. Dude, I haven't eaten in 8 hours and I've run a marathon. If you don't feed me, I am going to eat people hanging out in the hallway.

I had to put my class online today. I couldn't walk up and down the stairs very well. Turns out a marathon really hurts.

Really hurts.

Almost There

2010-09-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

The marathon is about a month away.

This is the first week we have had to run 5 miles each day, Monday through Thursday. It isn't too bad. And running 12 miles this weekend isn't so bad either. It is funny to me that 12 miles is no big deal. That after trying 14, 16, and 18, 12 is a breeze.

Relatively speaking.

12 miles is still a damn long way.

On a fundraising note, I have set my fundraiser for Thursday, September 16 from 5 to 8 p.m. at Weber's Grille, 13193 Broadway in Alden. Tarot card readings and Wild Mountain Organics and fun for all.

I think I may have left my feet on the sidewalk somewhere...

2010-08-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

I had to start teaching today. I also had to spend a few days in Chicago for work.

Running in Chicago along the Lake has got to be one of the best things to do. I could see people taking advantage of the beaches. In fact, there must have been a triathlon club training because there were several folks in tri-suits swimming laps in designated areas. The fact that Chicago has designated areas to do this is pretty impressive to me. The lakeshore in wonderful. Hey, Buffalo, wanna get it together?

I was debating as to whether I would run on Saturday after class or wait until Sunday. I don't know what made me choose Saturday, but I am glad I did. I started at about 4:30 p.m. so that I could beat some of the heat, but less humidity. I ran my usual 12 mile loop which takes me to my mom's and brother's. My brother was entertaining. I swooped in (as much as a slow runner can swoop), grabbed my Gatorade, waved to the company, apologized for being rude by not hanging out, and left. I saw my husband and gave him my route and an approximate arrival time. If he didn't hear from me by 9 p.m., come find me. I may have died.

Getting to 12 miles was easy and I don't know why. I was quite surprised. I thought I might get to my house to get my third Gatorade and might say, this is enough. But I was determined to run 18 miles after my last two attempts didn't get me to my goal.

And run 18 miles I did. After I finished, I was too damn tired to jump up and down. But I did I very happy dance in my mind. In my mind, I am quite adept at dancing.

I ran 18 miles. It is the most I have ever run. It is one of my proudest moments.

Of course, I cannot move from the couch. I need to have a pair of Depends and my bed on the first floor. I iced my feet and my calves. Damn, this running kinda hurts.

But I succeeded. I am back in the game.

Twelve miles seems like a break....

2010-08-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Sixteen miles killed me last week. I was quite nervous approaching this week. I have trained so hard for so long it seemed cruel justice that I might have to bow out due to injury now.

I ran as posted this week thinking about all the reasons I may have had trouble. I also worked at the Erie County Fair for a friend of mine. I had to find time afterward to run. It was also hot and humid again so I had to work around that.

Turns out running at night is pretty cool. I would start running just before sunset and end up running in the dark. I did take precautions. I ran with light colored clothing and ran on the sidewalk. It was quite peaceful.

The Saturday that I was to run 12 miles was hot and humid. Enough, egads! I was able to run about 8 miles and I had to stop. I was frustrated, but thought, hell, I ran 8 miles. My foot didn't bother me. Perhaps I will finish while running, perhaps I will also have to walk. I am quite cranky that this heat and humidity will not let up. WTF?

That said, I do have to remember why I am running this marathon and training so diligently....folks struggling with blood cancers don't have the option to stop in the heat and humidity as I did. They may complain as I do, but to what end? It doesn't change the course of their treatment. In fact, studies show that a pessimistic outlook may work against you. Mind over matter.

I need to remember that...mind over matter.

Unless an injury steps in. Or unless your body is telling you it might die. Listen to your body. It usually knows what is up.

16 miles was the end of me

2010-08-15T10:50:00.001-07:00

I am quite excited to run 16 miles. I think I can do it with no problem.

4, 5, 4, 5 Monday through Thursday. I said I wouldn't modify it, but I had to. I was working for a friend at the Erie County Fair on Thursday. It was so humid when I got out, I thought I might dies, so I said I would run 5 on Friday morning. And I did.

Bad, bad idea.

Because I run so much more slowly than others, I try to get to the Amherst Bike Path earlier so the coaches and trainers don't have to spend their Saturday morning waiting for my slow ass to finish running. I am a considerate runner, I guess.

Why I like the Amherst Bike Path at that hour:

Turkeys feed in one of the fields. This particular Saturday there were turkeys right next to the deer.
Deer are all over. Deer are grazing and it is peaceful and beautiful and serene.
Blue herons abound in the creek.
Slugs and other crawlies as well as goose poop are all over the path (I don't really like this part). It keeps the run interesting.

By about 7:30, the path is getting busier and the animals have gone. Slugs, crawlies and poop remain. All seem to get stomped and squished, not by me.

It started out as a cool morning. Then I noticed that I was sweating enough to fill a small rain barrel. WTF? It had gotten humid. I was not ready for humid! But what can you do?

I was doing well. Running slowly. Drinking Gatorade and water. Listening to my IPod which is the best thing in the world. Mile 12 my foot started to hurt. I knew exactly what it was, thank God. That damn extra bone. I had to walk mile 13 to the coaches and hitch a ride home the other three miles. I was disappointed but knew if I continued, I would risk a worse injury and might jeopardize my marathon. I am not willing to do that.

I told my sister I was upset with myself for only running 12 and walking one. I told her I felt like a failure. She told me I was a moron. That made me feel better, oddly enough.

I limped for the rest of the day and iced the hell out of the foot. Sunday came and I am typing this and able to walk. I am hoping that I can run tomorrow before working at the fair.

My husband reminded me that I ran on Friday instead of Thursday. That might have done it. No more running the day before long runs. I think that did it.

I will do yoga this afternoon. That should help loosen my body quite a bit. It should also help me feel less like a failure and more like a moron.

That's as it should be.

Only 12 miles this week for our long run...

2010-08-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

I remember being told last year that when we get to this point in our training, the 12 mile long weekend run will be a blessing. I thought they were full of crap until this week. The idea that I just have to run 12 miles is a blessing. And my week runs smoothly (pun intended) as a result. 4, 5, 4, 5 is the Monday through Thursday run and I modify it.

I ran 14 miles on Monday, so I take Tuesday off. I run 4 miles on Wednesday and 5 on Thursday. Then I run 3 on Friday just to stick with it, worried that it might screw up the long run on Saturday.

The humidity is a bitch and I am about ready to kill small children because I am so cranky because of it, but I am able to figure out how to run.

And I run 12 on Saturday. I am tired, I think, because I didn't run each day as I should have. I am determined not to modify my run next week.

I do notice on Sunday that my right foot is bothering me. I have an extra bone in my foot that acts up if it is overused. I would say that running like this is overusing it. I am quite surprised that it hasn't acted up sooner, but I am thankful it hasn't. I better shut up before I make it worse. I ice it and pamper myself. I've earned it.

When am I going to squeeze this running thing into my schedule?

2010-08-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

This week is incredibly hectic. I have a show this weekend in Brockport. It is the first time the Brockport Arts Festival is being held in the parking lot of the college campus. I am not going to be able to run 14 miles on Saturday, as usual, because I will be trying to sell my fabulous products (wildmountainorganics). I then think that I will have to run on Sunday after a day of selling products in the pounding heat. It is not a pleasing thought.

I run my usual run for the week - 4, 5, 4, 5 Monday through Thursday. I am getting used to this, I think. I then decide that I should run the 14 miles on Monday morning rather than try to kill myself on Sunday night.

As soon as I decide this, the tension leaves. I no longer feel this ridiculous pressure to run over the weekend.

And Monday looks as though it will be fairly nice with much less humidity. Woo hoo!

But that also means that I won't have a run scheduled from Friday through the weekend. Well, I can't take three days off. It might ruin everything I have worked toward. So I decide to try to run after the show on Saturday.

Of course, after the hectic show, the last thing I want to do is run. In fact, I think I would prefer root canal surgery.

Then I run. And I run quite rapidly - well, rapidly for me. I am on fire and feeling wonderful. Perhaps there is something to running when one is exhausted. I should consider this.

I return home and feel rejuvenated. I finally have the thought that I might be able to run 14 miles. This is a daunting figure since I've run 12 and that's been my personal best. Fourteen would take me over the top and make me a runner. Of course, 12 should do that, but I am a freaking overachiever. Good news.

I have a route mapped that will take me past my mother's house. This is good since I can drop some Gatorade at her house and pick it up on my way. I figure it will take me two Gatorade's to make this trip. I will swap my empty bottle for the full bottle and be on my way.

Monday is gorgeous! The sun is out, but it's cool, and not nearly so humid. I am off at 6:30 a.m. to beat any nasty heat! And I am plodding along doing quite well. There is one road on the route that is full of uphills that makes me nervous but I do it without a problem. In fact, I wake my mother up (8:30, mom? I should say it's time to get your ass out of bed.). She asks me to sit and rest for a minute. I tell her if I do that she will have to drive me home because I won't be going anywhere. She can't believe that I have run from my house to hers. Quite frankly, neither can I.

I take off with my new Gatorade and head the 5.5 miles home from her house. It is primarily downhill so I am excited about this.

I get to the top of this small hill that always kicks my ass at the end of a long, long bike ride and that's when it hits me. Shit, you are tired and might die. But with about two miles to go, I am sure not stopping.

The signal at Three Rod Road and Broadway changes several times before I get to it. If there are no cars on Three Rod, the signal may take a while to change. It may also take me a minute to get across Broadway. I am hoping for a long signal. And then a car drives up. I wanted to beat the trunk of this car! Can't you see that you are my reprieve! I can't stop and take a break on my own, but a forced break? That's okay! Bastard!

Broadway is tough. I get to 14 miles and stop. I can go no further, but I just ran 14 miles. I think I posted it on Facebook after I came in and drank a gallon of water and bathed. What an accomplishment. I think I might actually be able to run this bitch of a marathon!

Fourteen miles is longer than halfway. I am more than halfway there. I can't believe I can do this! I am pretty proud of me!

For the love of all things holy....if this heat doesn't break...

2010-07-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

I spoke with a good friend of mine who has run a marathon before. I joked with her that the next time (if there is a next time) I lose my mind and decide this is a good idea, I will train in the winter for a spring marathon.

She reminded me that she did just that. She trained all winter for the Disney Marathon, which takes place in January. She said that day in Disney was so hot she ended up walking part of that marathon.

I don't think she has any idea what a relief it was to hear her say that. This friend of mine is a true athlete. I look to her as an athletic role model, of sorts. If she had to walk part of the marathon, then it's okay to do that! I no longer feel this insane pressure!

The week is good and hot, but I manage to run the prescribed mileage for the week. I don't think I've taken a hot shower in weeks because it's too damn hot for hot water and cold just feels so good when you have sweated your nipples off of your breasts.

I even planned to start my Saturday run at 6:30 to beat more of the heat and not hold everyone up. Only ten miles. No problem, right?

Sweet Jesus and all his disciples.

I can honestly say I have never sweated through my clothes. Ever. I mean, all the way through. My shorts, my underwear, sports bra, t-shirt. In fact, I was able to wring the sweat out of my t-shirt. It was such an uncomfortable run, I don't even know what else to say.

I knew I could run the ten miles, but at one point I realized that my run is as fast as my walk and what am I doing killing myself? I joked with our walkers that I was keeping pace with them. On any other day, that would be sad. One of them mentioned that today shouldn't be about time, but about getting through the distance. Amen.

So at about mile 8, I walked. What was the difference? In fact, I think when I started to walk, I was able to pick up my pace a bit.

And I have a bone to pick with those folks who don't sweat. What the hell is wrong with you!? How is this even possible? How is it that I look as though I've been in a rainstorm and you are ready for a nice breakfast and a spot of tea? Tell me! I dislike all of you non-sweaters!

Now that I've calmed just a bit, I am ready to put this long run behind me and move to next week. Hey, that's what you have to do. Keep moving along. I've made the commitment and I intend to finish.

Twelve Miles...Can it be done?

2010-07-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

After my ten mile debacle, I was understandably nervous. The heat broke a bit but it is still hotter than hell and more humid than anything. I sweat sitting and dread running because of the heat and humidity.

But once I am armed with my Gatorade and towel and get moving, I find my groove and love it.

I have also discovered my new favorite five mile route. There are a few rolling hills in the first 2.5 miles, which may as well be Mt. Everest to me, but then it flattens out on this quiet, quiet street. I saw deer crossing the road! I saw a baby skunk that I managed to avoid. That would certainly have sucked if I got sprayed by a damn skunk in the heat and humidity while I was running.

Saturday arrived and I was ready. It was already humid in the morning. I wasn't sure if I would get through 12, but I was certainly ready to try.

....

I have resigned myself to the fact that if I have to walk some of this marathon because I couldn't run in the heat, so be it. I was exhausted by the end. The heat and sun were killing me. I was going to run out to five and back and then out to one and back since the route from zero to one is shaded and breezy. I got as far as seven miles and talked to the coaches. Ron ran with me - or rather walked with me. It turns out that when the weather is like this, my running is the equivalent of other people's walking. And in this weather, I don't care. It bothered me last year and it bothered me in Africa. It no longer bothers me. I know that when the humidity is lower, I can actually run. I know that my body is able. That is good. But I cannot fight genetics. Nor will I even try.

The coach asked if I could run/walk the last five miles. I said I thought I could. I gave myself permission to walk for .2 miles and then run the other .8 of the mile. I did that for three more miles and called it a day because I thought I might die.

So I ran, sort of, ten miles. And I am happy with that. I will keep doing this and keep trudging along. Cancer doesn't take a break, nor will I!

WTF, with this humidity and heat?!

2010-07-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

We were warned by the meteorologists that this week would be incredibly hot and humid. They weren't kidding! We had days when it reached in excess of 90 degrees with a heat index that made it feel over 100.

And I had to run.

Perhaps next time I should train in winter.

This week I have to figure out how to run 3, 5, 3, 3 miles from Monday through Thursday so that I can run ten miles this weekend.

Um, right.

Actually, the runs during the week weren't so bad. I discovered that if I run in the evening, it is cooler and I am able to do it. I was armed with my Gatorade and my towel. I tucked my towel into my shorts. I am sure I looked like an ass, but I didn't care. I had some running to do.

But my company, Wild Mountain Organics, was participating in a show this weekend, so my long run would have to be on Saturday. I ran three days and took Thursday off. Then I tried to run on Friday...in the morning.

STUPID!

My goal was to run out five miles and return. I got to four and thought I better turn around. I could easily add two miles at the end once I recharged at home with more Gatorade.

I turned around and ran another mile. Then I had to stop. My body was overheating! I was rather frightened, actually. I had to walk three more miles back and said, screw the other two.

I was disappointed that I only ran five miles, walked three and abandoned the last two, but it was better than nothing. Or was it? We shall see.

I am very nervous about trying to run 12 next weekend. Egads!

This heat was oppressive! I am lucky I managed to run at all.

And it is only July. What does August bring?

Ooops, Monday...

2010-07-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

My friend was in town this week. We went to Toronto on Monday and I missed my three mile run. I was going to add a mile to each of the next days, but decided against it. I don't want to get hurt. I should be okay.

Training went well this week. I love this! I ache and am tired when I am finished, but I am injury free (knock on wood) and enjoy getting out, listening to music and running.

Now I am trying to pay attention to my diet as well. I notice that when I eat like crap, I feel like crap, and my run isn't as good. Summer is the perfect time to concentrate on eating well with all the fresh fruit and vegetables available. And our garden is looking good. We have lettuce and radishes. Yummy!

Even without my three mile Monday run, I am able to muscle through the Saturday eight mile run. I take my bottle of Gatorade with me. I like to sip as I run. The trainer comments that I don't need to bring my own drink because they provide it, but I need it before and after the three mile mark. I need to hydrate and replenish!

Since we were to run eight miles, our run consisted of an out and back to the four mile mark. See how clever we are to figure that out? At mile three, we have beverages and encouragement. And when I had three miles left, I said, hey, only three miles to go.

And I meant it. Only three miles to go and I felt good. Ron, a former Team In Training member and current mentor, was on the run with us. He was encouraging. I told him to try yoga because it helps and he kept encouraging me telling me that no matter how fast I was running, I was still out there making a difference. Sometimes that's all you need.

And Shiela is one of our more seasoned runners. I think she is in her 70's and ran her first marathon when she was in her 60's. She is often on the trail with us. She inspires me. If she can do it, so can I.

I told Ron that my mantra becomes, you can do anything for a mile. He liked that I was able to break it up into smaller increments. He thought that would help.

So far so good.

And I've run eight miles! Woo hoo!

What happens when you follow the schedule?

2010-06-26T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am following the schedule to a tee. I will not add/delete miles. I am determined to do this. It also helps that I am actually liking all this running. I thought I would be someone who would get bored because I need to jazz up my workout routine. I didn't think I could run five days a week and be fine with that.

I do toss yoga into the mix. That has helped immeasurably. Each Friday and Sunday I will toss in my Ashtanga yoga practice to maintain my flexibility. This seemed to help last year when I was injured, and I am determined to get through the training injury free so I need to take care of myself.

I am nervous about running seven miles today since I figuratively fell on my face last week trying to run six. But I ran the entire program this week - 2.5, 4.5, 2.5, 3 miles Monday through Thursday - so I should be fine.

And I was. I couldn't believe it! I was exhausted when I was finished, don't get me wrong, but I felt awesome. I was able to run seven without much trouble. And the walkers did not pace me!

I then went to visit my friend who has a cottage on Lake Erie. The water was cold enough to offer incredible relief for my aching legs. I did the run, but I rued the run.

Follow the schedule

2010-06-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Turns out there is a reason they have a schedule. You will not be able to complete the long runs, nor the marathon, if you don't follow the schedule. That two weeks in Africa messed up my training. And this week, recovering from the trip itself and the traveling home, messed everything up. Running six miles should not have been the issue it was.

I ran to the three mile mark with our group. I thought I might die getting to three. My body was screaming for me to stop. I told it (okay, sorta told it) that if it got to mile four, I could walk the last two miles.

It did and I did.

Then I was passed in the last stretch by the two folks training to WALK the marathon.

And I said I would stick to the schedule and make the long runs from now on.

Hey, whatever motivates.

I have returned from Africa!

2010-06-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

I returned yesterday from Africa. I thought I might run last night, but after traveling for nearly two days, that didn't seem like a good idea. I haven't run since last week. In fact, it's been a week. And I've only had one long run. I feel behind.

The weather is certainly cooperating with me. It is chilly and I love it! I am not sweating before I've even left my house. Thank the Lord!

I have to run 2 miles today and am ready for it. Looking at my schedule for the week, I realize I should run 4 tomorrow, 2.5 on Wednesday and then 3 on Thursday. Having not run the correct schedule yet, I think I need to modify the workout. I choose to run 2 today, 3 tomorrow, 2 on Wednesday and 3 on Thursday.

There is not a soul on the road as I take one of my usual routes. And I do not need an escort. I may run all by myself! Of course, I had to run out to get a new IPod Shuffle since mine stopped working while I was in Uganda, but I am ready to go.

There are no hecklers. I am in the clear and free of any and all distractions. I also realize why I truly enjoy running. I am able to look around and appreciate my neighborhood. This is so much more important having returned from Africa. I see beautiful houses on my tree-lined street. I also see well manicured lawns and lawns that have grass longer than it should be. I also see fabulous flower gardens and gardens that could use a good weeding. Of course, my garden could use a good weeding.

I listen to my wonderful music and take in the scenery and solitude. Two miles passed in no time.

Ah, running!

Day Five

2010-06-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Godfrey is still sick and I need to run today. I couldn’t yesterday because we couldn’t find him and I could not run with Gerald again. Today, Lindsay, one of the leaders of our group, finds a student for me. She just ran a bit with him and she promised me that he didn’t talk. Sold - you’re hired!

Lindsay also offered to run along for a minute or so to get some pictures for this blog and my fundraising Web site. I agree because I want people to see Africa and me running here. In addition to my escort, Charles, I have about 10 other kids wanting to run as well as another student, Lauren. Lauren ran in high school, so she is quite fast and quite good. After my pictures have been taken, Lauren and I run. Today is 15 minutes our and 15 back. No hills. Several students from the school run with me out of town. Town doesn’t seem so bad today. Either people are getting used to me or they just don’t care. I also think it was a holiday. Perhaps people were doing other things. I don’t know.

Turns out, Charles and his buddies do indeed talk.

“Professor, are you tired?”

“Yes, I am.”

“We should stop.”

“No, I am training. I run when I am tired. That’s what happens.”

A few minutes later…..

“Professor, are you tired?”

“Yes.”

“We should turn around, then.”

“No, I have 4 more minutes before I turn.”

Then we turn. And it continues.

“Professor, are you tired?”

Sweet Jesus, seriously? “Yes.”

Then my escort finds a bicycle and starts riding around me, behind me, in front of me, and then disappears. I am left with Sahid who has borrowed Lindsay’s IPod. He is quiet, running with me enjoying the music. I like him. He gives me space and is quiet. He should run with me again.

Today was incredibly difficult. It was so beastly hot and running in the early evening didn’t help. There were a few times I thought I might not be able to run this relatively short distance. I felt like a wimp. I also didn’t like the constant questions. But I had to say to myself, cancer doesn’t take a day off. If I had leukemia or lymphoma, could I just say, today is much to hot to have cancer? No. So I ran. And I finished. And I stretched. And I complained. And I showered. I felt pretty good.

Day Four

2010-06-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

I didn’t get a chance to run this weekend even though I wanted to run on Saturday. I did play football (soccer) with the tots so I got some physical activity. I am trying to find Godfrey, my escort, and he is nowhere to be found. Instead, Young Fred (one of our hosts) asks one of the students, Gerald, to run with me. He is going to run in flip flops even though I asked him if he wanted to find some sneakers. Kids here don’t always have the option of having appropriate shoes to wear. In fact, I think many of them would prefer to be barefoot most of the time.

This should be an easy 2 mile run. I didn’t bring my schedule with me and don’t have access to the internet without wanting to kill myself (I am very impatient when it comes to inefficiency and the internet here is very inefficient. In fact, it is downright unreliable and after dealing with it for 2 years, I have decided I will not and will wait until I return to the States before I check email. People know where I am and I put the “I am in Africa” return email on my work account.). I am going by memory, which is horribly unreliable, but some is better than none. I do know the long runs so I won’t screw that up. But I am still guessing as to the distance. It will be nice to return to a marked path at home. And tree-lined streets.

Kids follow me each day as I run through town and off onto one path or another. I know there is a sizable hill on this path, but I assume that I will turn before I hit it. Oh no. And Gerald does not stop talking. I am not a talker, particularly not here. It is a struggle for me to run let alone try to carry on a conversation. And I am trying to listen to my IPod. I don’t have the volume loud enough that I can’t hear him, but I don’t want to talk!

We start to climb this hill. I am struggling and slow down considerably. Gerald starts to walk next to me, but then I think he feels bad and starts to shuffle. I don’t know which is worse. Luckily, the turn around is not too far up the hill.

Once again, when I turn, the stragglers stop following me. I must run on their route home and they run with me and laugh. Then they walk the rest of the way while I turn around.

“Professor, do you have bananas in America?” Gerald asks.

“Yes.”

“Professor, do you have cows in America?”

“Yes.”

“Professor, do you have chickens in America?”

For the love of all things holy, “yes.”

“Professor, do you have goats in America?”

Please shut up, “yes.”

At this point I am ready to turn and say “shut the hell up,” but I can’t get myself to do that. Not only are the questions inane, they are driving me nuts because they are one after the other and I just want to finish my run in peace. I wish I could run without an escort. And what an escort this is. A 5’5”, 14 year-old. What help will he offer? Again, I could protect him.

I think he is taking his role a bit too seriously, also. He is running so close to me our arms touch. I try to run in front and off to the side, hoping he will run behind me, but he just runs to the side and touches again. I don’t know why I don’t have the heart to tell him to move the hell over. I think he is excited to run with the ‘professor.’

Perhaps his talking and arm nudging made me run faster. I felt pretty good after the run and thankful it is over.

Day Three

2010-06-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

Normally our long run is on Saturday, but the weather is milder today and it is actually cooler. I decide I should probably take advantage of this. Keep in mind that cooler is still damn hot but I take what I can get. I am worried that I may not be able to run the entire 50 minutes I believe it should take me to run about 4 miles. I am still determined to do it, but I want to make sure I pay attention to the signals my body is sending me and if I start to overheat, I need to back down, walk or stop. I have my water bottle with grape Propel to help me through.

Godfrey is my escort again. I enjoy running with him because I can wear my IPod and he doesn’t talk to me. I feel rude, but at the same time grateful. I am motivated by my music and the fact that I am training in Africa because I am trying to raise money for and awareness of Leukemia and Lymphoma.

Running through town is painful. I have to keep telling myself to ignore them. They have no idea why I am doing this and I don’t think they would understand anyway. It still bothers me that I am ridiculed as being the fat white girl trying to run and not running very fast. Again, I am not trying to win the marathon; I want to finish.

We had taken this particular route earlier in the day when we went to visit the Wajinja stone - a stone that is known for its spiritual powers. Many Uganda make a pilgrimage to this stone for rituals. It is quite a cool stone and a serene environment. I would love to just hang out there by myself with a picnic basket full of wine and cheese thinking about the world and my place in it.

I had forgotten that there was a mammoth hill on this route. Either that, or I didn’t expect to reach it. Sure enough. It is at the end of my 26 minutes out, but I still have about 2 minutes to get up the beast. It is a struggle. I am sweating and panting - quite tired. I drink my water and try to control my breathing.

Then we can turn around. Going downhill is much, much better. Until a giant truck full of people drives by. They stop and yell to me and to Godfrey. I don’t know what they are saying, but it doesn’t sound nice. In fact, I am scared just a bit. The truck must have 20 people in it and I am alone with a man I could probably take if I had to. I didn’t feel safe.

Turns out they were essentially saying “run faster fat white person.” I asked Godfrey when we returned. He said that they had never seen a white person as big as me trying to run. I asked if my big he meant tall and he said no. It is getting a bit more than frustrating. I have to remind myself yet again why I am doing this and then remember that this is a completely different culture and that this is acceptable here no matter how insulting and demoralizing it would be in the U.S.

I also have to remind myself that I have another week of running in Africa and then I can return to my streets in my hometown where people aren’t going to harass me and I won’t have to run on such extreme conditions.

The truck rumbles past us after I tell Godfrey that I don’t like the truck and that it makes me nervous. He must have told them to move on because they did. Or they had their fill of mocking me.

Back in town, I am starting to feel angry and good, if that makes sense. I am almost at the end of the run. I am still doing fine. I want to pass out and die, but that’s how I usually feel, so I take that as a good sign since I didn’t want to do it sooner. The trust is in town with the same people, it seems, and they turn around. I want to scream something at them, but don’t.

I want to save my energy because I do not want Godfrey to mock me in town as he did the other day. I find a good, upbeat song on my IPod and pick up my pace. It damn near kills me, but I am determined to get through town going at a reasonable pace that should shut everyone up. And I like the challenge.

Of course, once I get out of town, I have to slow to a crawl for the last stretch. And then I am finished. I have run about 4 miles in the heat of Africa and I still feel pretty damn good. I am quite proud of myself. Go me! Perhaps I can do this after all.

Day Two

2010-06-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

My plan wasn’t to run consecutive day, but why not? If I can, I should and will. Today a nice breeze is blowing so I think running out 15 minute and back should be fine. We decide on a different route, but it still stars and ends in town. I think that if I listen to my IPod Shuffle, it will help. I don’t speak to Godfrey when I’m running, primarily because I have a hard time running and speaking, so what will it hurt? I hate town. I am getting tired of being ridiculed. I have to keep saying to myself that I am at least doing it and doing it for a good cause otherwise I might curl up into the fetal position and go to my happy place. Not a bad place my happy place. It’s colder there. Kids follow me again giggling and running. After 15 minutes, we turn and lose our children as we did yesterday. Going through town, Godfrey falls in step behind me. I glance around and see that he is walking and looking at those in town. I am embarrassed and a bit upset. I pick up my pace as much as I can and try to get out of town. The not really neon BPS sign can’t come too soon. I stop and stretch. Then I call Godfrey on his walking. He laughs and feels a bit embarrassed himself that he was caught. It’s hard to be mad at him. He is my running partner and protector. But I want to smack him anyway.

Day One

2010-05-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have no odometer to measure so I must rely on time to gauge my distance. Normally, I run two miles in 12 minutes each, but the heat here is prohibitive so I figure I will do it at 13 minutes/per mile. I am to be accompanied because a Muzungo running attracts attention. We don’t want attention. We also must vary our route each day so people in town don’t try to mug the Muzungo. That would be bad.

Evidently people don’t run as slowly as I do. I am mocked as we run through town. They yell “run faster, faster,” then cackle out a laugh as I pass. I also have a crew of students running with me as we run the 13 minutes out before we turn around. They giggle as they run close enough to my heels to trip me or to get kicked by my large Muzungo size 11 running shoes. I don’t like them behind and beside me but I don’t have the heart to deprive them of the fun of mocking me. I say it’s time to turn and they continue on their way home.

I turn to return to the school. I am hot, sticky and sweaty. Thank God I have my water with Propel in it. My saving grace. And who knew I liked grape? Once again I am mocked through town and Godfrey, the school’s headmaster assigned to ensure my safety, says something in Lugandan. It can’t be complementary. The white sign welcoming folks to BPS is my start and finish and today it is like a beacon signaling that I may stop, catch my breath and stretch. And perhaps curl in a ball and die. Day one, finished.

Corning Wineglass Marathon - October 3, 2010

2010-05-28T09:18:00.000-07:00

I am now training for the Wine Glass Marathon in Corning, New York on October 3. Training begins on Memorial Day. I am in Uganda, Africa for the first two weeks so I must train in Africa. I work with several students with a group we founded three years ago - Embrace It Africa. We started as a way to help a small rural community in southern Uganda by offering a government-registered microloan program called the Mikwano Financial Agency, and offering support to the Bethlehem Parents School (BPS) and Orphanage. We continue to grow. For more information, visit our Web site at www.embraceitafrica.org.

Corning, NY Wine Glass Marathon

2010-05-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hello! Pauline is back and running.
Pauline is still as slow as she ever was, but she doesn't care.
Pauline is not sure why she is writing in the third person and will stop now.

I am back and excited to be running again. You cannot imagine how frustrating it was not to be able to run the marathon I had worked hard for. Granted, I still had quite a distance to go to be ready for that marathon, but I was pretty proud of myself. I now no longer feel as though I might not be able to do it.

The Finger Lakes chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is not training for the Marine Corp Marathon this year so I will be training for the Corning, NY Wine Glass Marathon.

[As an aside, sometimes when I type marathon - I type marathong. Not sure why nor am I sure what that means. Draw your own conclusions.]

In keeping with the chaos that is often my life, training begins while I am in Africa. Visitors in Africa don't run recreationally, as a rule. People like me don't run unless we are being chased. Of course, I should be thankful that I run more slowly than most. My hosts might mistake it for a brisk walk and not bother worrying about me.

I will have my first two longs runs (4 and 5 miles) on Saturdays that I am in Africa. We shall see if I can do that! I plan to write for this blog while I am there, but won't be able to post until I am home. Internet is sporadic and frustrating and I don't bother with it because it causes me stress.

Check back. I have successfully recovered from my surgery and am back on the run!

Alas, I will try next year....

2009-10-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hello,
It has been quite some time since I posted anything about my training. Let me explain why....

I struggled with a pinched nerve in my left foot. That settled down and I was pain free.

Then I hurt the hell out of my right foot. It was so bad, it was suspected that I had a stress fracture. After a nuclear diagnostic bone scan, it was decided I did not have a stress fracture. It must be a very bad case of tendinitis.

Then that cleared up and I was able to run.

Hooray!

Then the abdominal pain. This was completely unrelated to running. God only knows why now it decided to be a problem.

The abdominal pain sent me to the emergency room via ambulance. After a CT scan and fabulous pain meds, it was decided that I had a bowel obstruction that required emergency surgery.

About 27 staples and an 8" surgical incision later, it was decided that the only place I am running to is the loo.

The good news is that any funds that I have raised thus far may be transferred to the race next year. And I have every intention of running this race next year.

I ran 12 miles. That was the farthest I had gotten. And that is the most I have ever run. It felt good.

I was told by my surgeon that I am not to run until November 3. I cannot do any sort of ab work until Thanksgiving. I am counting the days.

Tomorrow is three weeks since surgery.

Sunday is the day I am supposed to be running the marathon.

There must be some reason I was not meant to run this year. But I will not give up. I will begin training the minute I can run again.

Perhaps I can train for the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot in Buffalo.

I am injured!

2009-08-11T12:08:00.001-07:00

I suppose it had to happen. All of my good luck had to come to an end.

Okay, so I don't believe in good luck.

All of my hard work was paying off.

And then it happened.

I injured myself.

It happened three weeks ago. I was so upset I didn't blog. I know, that defeats the purpose of a blog, in many ways. I don't care. It's my blog and I'll blog or not blog if I want to. And I will bitch or not bitch if I want to. And you will read or not read if you want to. (But I would like you to continue reading.)

I thought it would be a nice change of scenery. I had several meetings on the St. Bonaventure University campus. I thought it would be nice to run on the Allegheny River Trail. This trail is so incredibly scenic - snaking its way alongside the Allegheny River. I love water and love to run near it.

I got to mile 1.5 and felt something off in my heel. At first I thought it was a muscle pull that I could run through. Um, no. I then thought I could walk it off. I walked up to the two mile marker and then turned around. Tried to run and failed. I limped the two miles back to my car.

I got in touch with our coaches and our trainer. I tried to run on it the next day and failed. Then I was to rest it. I missed the 10 mile long run.

Then I missed the 12 mile run and another 10 mile long run.

And many runs in between.

I would try to run while and would get to one mile. Sometimes, on really good days, I would get to three miles. I couldn't break the three mile barrier. I was getting frustrated.

It made me more frustrated when two different podiatrists told me they didn't think anything was wrong and that I could run on it. One thought it was a pinched nerve. Another thought I could work through it. I return to my regular podiatrist in a few weeks for a follow up. Perhaps I need new orthotics.

Perhaps I need a lobotomy.

What possessed me to think I could do this?

Of course, this isn't the kind of thinking I normally do. I am generally optimistic. But it has been three weeks since I have been able to do any sort of substantial running. Thank God I can ride my bike and do yoga so I have some sort of cross-training to count on. Because this running thing isn't working out so well.

Over the weekend I downloaded the map of the race course. I was thrilled! I will get to run by all the major monuments in DC as well as along the Potomac River. I did notice that if you haven't reached mile 19 by a certain time, you will be asked to get on the straggler bus for transport to the end of the race. I guess they have to open the road. The race pace is a 14 minute mile. I am slow, but I can do better than a 14 minute mile.

When I can run.

Now I am more determined. All of my naysaying and pessimism have been tossed away. I am going to finish this race. And I am not going to ride the straggler bus. And I am going to run through our nation's capital proud that I can run at all. And I am going to see all of the leukemia and lymphoma patients and their families cheering us on and I am going to be prompted to go a little faster so that I finish.

And I will finish.

And then yesterday I ran four miles. A small victory, to be sure, but I broke my three mile barrier.

And today I am going to my yoga class because I miss my fellow yogis. And tomorrow I am going to try to run five miles. Five pain free miles.

And then I am going to the Erie County Fair (booth number 149 in the Agricenter) to sell my lotions and lip balms and other products.

And I am going to sweat my breasts right off my chest.

I am going to go faster if it kills me....

2009-07-20T10:34:00.001-07:00

Today I have to run three miles. And I am determined to go faster if it kills me.

I figure I can start to pick up the pace on the shorter runs. They won't hurt me.

I run the first mile in 11 minutes 45 seconds. For those keeping track, that's a record for me. Yes, it's still slow, but it's a personal best, so bite me.

I run the second mile in 12 minutes. That's pretty damn good.

The third mile in 12 minutes, 45 seconds. That means that I ran about an average of 12 minutes a mile for the three mile duration.

That's the best I've done! I am so proud of me!

Of course, when I finished, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

But I did it!

And I also sent my checks off to be counted! Thank you again to everyone who has supported me so far!

The injuries are starting....

2009-07-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

I call them injuries, but they are really minor problems. I had to ice my foot yesterday because I felt plantar fasciitis returning. If anyone has ever had this problem, you know you want to nip it in the bud toot sweet. It hurts like a mother........ if left unchecked.

I also have two blisters, one on each foot. I pop those, as instructed. But they still hurt.

Thank God I get to rest today. And rest I do.

Oh Boy!

2009-07-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

Eight miles truly kicked my ass. It was such a perfect day for a run. It was cool, there was dew on the ground, and there were enough slugs/snails on the running trail to serve as a parade of sorts. A parade to remind me how pitifully slow I run.

I think there were points in the run in which it could not be said I was running. But I managed to pass all of the snails! Go me!

I also passed two dead snakes and two dead toads/frogs. Oh boy, am I on a roll!

At about the one mile to go mark, I was greeted by one of our coaches. She had been running with another group (a faster group) and wanted to come back to help me get back. We talked while I ran....

...And she walked.

That's right. I was upset when Ellen walked beside me for that brief moment. But I didn't seem to care that Katie was walking next to me. Truth be told, she was not sauntering. She was walking at a pretty good clip, as walking goes. But she was walking.

And I was so damn tired, I just wanted that last mile to end. I did pick it up for the last tenth. For some reason I always find some energy in my reserves. God only knows how.

Katie did keep reassuring me that I was doing fine. I shouldn't worry about running slowly, etc. Thank you for that!

What am I going to do when I have to run ten miles next week?

Rest Day

2009-07-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you to my mom for supporting my cause.

And thank you for this rest day.

I am nervous about running eight miles tomorrow. The seven miles I ran last week represented the longest distance I have ever run. That will grow each week now.

Eight miles. I hope I can do it.

My first tarot card fundraising party.

2009-07-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday three miles was no big deal.

Today it was.

What gives?

I hope not my legs or my feet or my knees.

My good friend, Peg Schwenk, agreed to host a tarot card fundraising party for me. Thank you to Peg! It was an incredible success. I enjoy reading cards and freaking people the hell out. And I am thankful I am able to parlay that ability into money for my cause!

I also received a call from a regular Wild Mountain Organics customer. She wanted to reorder some products. When I mentioned that I was participating in a tarot card reading fundraiser, she wanted to know if I could add one more to the evening. When I said yes, she was thrilled and I added more money to my fundraising coffer! Thank you Cindy!

More support!

2009-07-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Rose Carter for adding to my fundraising tally! I am getting closer and closer!

And three miles today is no big deal.

Isn't that funny. Three miles used to be my long run. Now it's no big deal.

Woo hoo!

I need my schedule back

2009-07-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Our flight from Kelowna was delayed because the plane was struck by lightening enroute to Kelowna. They had to inspect it.

And then we got on the same plane and flew to Calgary and then to Hamilton.

And we arrived.

2.5 hours late.

We didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning.

Needless to say, I wasn't about to get up at 7 or 8 to run. I ran when I got up.

And today was a long one. Five miles.

I have carefully marked several running options. I cannot run on the same path all the time. I need to jazz things up. Toss things about.

But my markers are things that may be temporary. For Sale signs on houses. God help me if my house markers sell before October and I don't notice the Sold signs. I might be running forever and not notice it!

Five miles did kick my ass a bit today. I managed to get through and then had to invoke my mantra "you can do anything for a mile." In fact, I think I had to "do anything for two miles."

I went through my mail and noticed that I have another supporter! Thank you to Shanon and Jeff Castiglione! You are helping me to get closer to my fundraising goal!

Packing up

2009-07-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

People are leaving from the weekend party. We are leaving this afternoon, but not before I run three miles/five kilometers.

I made sure to get the next week's schedule before I left so that I didn't miss a day of training.

And I love this bike path.

I get another early start - not 6 a.m., but 7. It is already warm outside. I find myself hoping it is still cool at home. I know our summers can be pretty horrific in terms of heat and humidity, but this was a shock. We have had an unseasonably cool/wet summer so far - I am not complaining - and coming to the furnace of BC tossed be about a bit.

I take in every portion of the bike path. The cover of cottonwood seeds that looks like fluffy snow. The sound of the water rushing down the creek to the lake. The other users of the path. The birds. The plants. I am going to miss it. But I can certainly return to visit my sister.

Three miles didn't seem too bad today. I enjoyed my time in British Columbia, but look forward to returning to my regular stomping grounds.

And then she rested.

2009-07-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have never been so happy for a rest day.

I was able to enjoy the wedding festivities yesterday and enjoy the evening.

Now I am at peace and relaxing.

On a boat, in the lake.

Sweet Lord, this is early.

2009-07-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

5:30 a.m. That's what time I got up to get ready to make my way to the Mission Creek Bike Path.

What the hell was I thinking drinking too much on Thursday night and saving this run for today?

I wasn't thinking. And therein lies my problem.

Just over 11 km is a long damn way.

Thank God for the spectacular scenery.

No one is on the path at 6 a.m. There are a few by 6:30 and even more by 7. But 6 is pretty desolate. It made me worry just a bit. I know few people in town and anyone could have been hiding in the woods or the creek (creek monster?).

People with big dogs are on the path. Big dogs that from a distance look like small bears. I had to muster all of my courage and stamina to remember what to do should I encounter a bear:

Do I run scared and screaming hoping it will be more scared of me than I of it? No, that's not a solution.
Do I run in a zigzag? No, I think you do that for large reptiles like crocs and gators. Although I did hear that was a misnomer. Run straight for crocs and gators. You will outrun them. You are screwed if you are in the water with them.
Do I stand my ground and stare the bear down? Perhaps. And then I will piss all over my sweaty running shorts. Does urine attract bears? I don't know.
Do I fall to the ground and play dead? I think this is one answer depending on the bear (Now I have to remember how to identify bears? Jesus, isn't running 11 km enough for one day?).
Do I climb a tree? None of the trees in the area was really a climbing tree.

Of course, I go through all of this twice. Once for a large black dog. A damn ugly dog at that. And once for a large white dog. Because, you know, a polar bear got loose in the interior of BC.

But I felt prepared should I encounter a bear.

On my return from the 5.5 km mark or so, I see so many more people.

I also have an old man talk to me. I don't know why old men always want to say inappropriate things to me. He was on his bike and saw me run across one of the roads. It was my last kilometer and I was damn tired and probably looked as though I might die. He asked me if I was sweating already. Already? Dude, I've been out here over an hour and a half. Bite me!

Don't drink and run.

2009-07-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

Since my sister is getting married tomorrow, I wanted to run this morning since I didn't think it likely that I would want to run the morning of her wedding.

She is getting married at 10 a.m. and that would mean that I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to run. I like running in the morning, but dawn's ass? No thanks.

Turns out when you are excited to see relatives you seldom see and there is wine (remember the Okanagan has some fabulous vineyards), you shouldn't plan to get up to run.

You shouldn't plan to get up.

So I didn't run today. I used it as my rest day, which was what it was supposed to be. But that means I have to run 7 miles (just over 11 km) tomorrow morning before the wedding.

And it means I cannot sample every local wine tonight.

Drat!

I found the best bike path/running trail!

2009-07-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

I like that I run in the morning. I beat the heat and get my day off to a good start.

I do not like the heat.

I hate it.

Most people are surprised to hear that it is hot in parts of British Columbia. My sister lives in Kelowna which is in the Okanagan Valley. The Okanagan Valley is home to Okanagan Lake - a vast expanse of water that is quite deep. It is also alleged to be the home of Ogopogo, a Loch Ness monster type of monster. Since the lake is quite deep and large, people assume there must be a monster. Oh, and people have spotted it, I guess.

Did I neglect to mention that the Okanagan Valley is also home to many award-winning vineyards?

Does that help to explain the presence of a lake monster? Perhaps, perhaps not. You be the judge.

I am forced to run 3 miles (5 kilometers or thereabouts - when in Rome) in the middle of the afternoon. Bad idea, but what choice do I have?

I ask at our hotel if there is a marked path or something nearby. The clerk is more than happy to direct me to the Mission Creek Bike Path. The bike path is a 16 km (8 km out and 8 back) packed dirt/stone trail that winds next to Mission Creek. It is well-maintained and beautiful! I feel connected to nature running on this trail.

Not only do I see birds of all sorts, but I see plants and insects that I don't regularly see at home, if at all. The trail does have its share of users. I can see people running, walking, and biking. People have kids and dogs.

And it also abuts some of the best scenery I have seen in ages. I can see past the creek to the mountains in the distance. Jutting up from the landscape, they motivate me to push harder to get to the 2.5 km mark. I almost don't want to turn around. Almost.

I do my share of sweating. That's nothing new. But I do make a note that I want to run in the morning. The morning. It is much too warm in the middle of the day.

Thank God for the shade of the trees along the banks of the river. Rarely was I in the open sun.

We leave today. I hope I keep up.

2009-07-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

We leave this evening for Hamilton, Ontario. We are spending the night in order to catch a very early flight to Kelowna, British Columbia. My sister is getting married and we are going.

My run this morning reminds me that I am doing this for an incredible cause. I received an email that reminds me exactly what this means to people. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society frequently sends inspirational emails to motivate us. Many come at just the right time.

This is from that email:

Elli Wolpe, herself a cancer survivor, became part of the LLS family when her husband David was diagnosed with follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma. She is now one of our Team In Training® (TNT) participants. Here is a portion of her speech from the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll Marathon Pasta Party.

I remember reading once that when people tell the story of an event that changed their lives, they often begin with the words: "It was a day that started just like any other day..." The same is true for us.

It was a day that started just like any other day when I got a follow up call after my annual exam. I was 31 and a new mother. And I had cancer. It changed my life forever. But I was one of the lucky ones, it was caught early and I survived.

It was a day like any other day when my husband, David, had a grand mal seizure. We learned it was caused by a brain tumor that was removed in a 10-hour surgery. But he was one of the lucky ones. It was benign and he survived.

It was a day like any other day when, just two a half years later, David found a swollen lymph node that led to the diagnosis of follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

Luckily, the chemo worked and he went into remission. But being in remission is not the same thing as being cured. In January, he got the last of his Rituxan®, a monoclonal antibody that was developed in part by funding from The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Now we play the waiting game. Because incurable means it's coming back. Only we don't know when. All we know is that it will be on a day just like any other day...

Your support for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society matters - to my husband, my daughter, myself... You are changing the world for people like us.

Thank you to everyone who supports me!

I think I have died

2009-07-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what on Earth happened today.

No idea.

At mile 2.5, I almost walked. WALKED! I haven't had to walk yet. Why today?

I made myself get through the last two miles. Yes, today my mantra became, 'you can do anything for two miles.'

Actually, that is being family friendly. My mantra was actually, 'WTF? Why is this kicking your ass? You pansy, get your freaking ass moving and get it over with.'

Then I said I could do anything for a mile.

I did not go to yoga today. I thought I should take a break from two workouts on Tuesdays since it took nearly all day to run 4.5 miles (not that dire, but it felt like it).

And my back is bothering me tonight.

I think I may also be nervous because I am going out of town on Thursday morning and my running schedule is going to get screwed up.

My sister is getting married in British Columbia and we are leaving at the crack of dawn on Thursday. I won't be able to run on Thursday until the afternoon. I am not sure about this.

And I have to convert to kilometers. Jesus. Thank God I know how to do that!

And I have to run my long run along the lake in Kelowna. That will be tough. (That's sarcasm.) We will see how it goes.

I do plan to take my computer to have access to things so I should update the blog. Stay tuned.

Another week

2009-07-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

This is week four.

I cannot believe I have trained for three weeks and am into week four.

Mileage is increasing, slowly.

Today I had to run 2.5 miles and it felt pretty good. Nothing too unusual.

I am worried about tomorrow. 4.5 miles. I have done 4, 5, and 6 before so 4.5 should be no big deal.

I am not sure why I worry so much.

I did buy a copy of Runner's World. Apparently, I am a runner. I should know what other runners know.

Sarah Palin was in this issue (July or August). And I had just read about her resigning her position as Governor of Alaska. I am guessing she needs more time to run. And by run, I mean on the mean streets of Wasilla, not run for office and such.

Or so I hope.

But life is never that easy.

And on the 7th day, they rested....

2009-07-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

I am quite sure I just bastardized the Bible, but I don't really care that damn much. And I don't much believe God created everything in seven days, but I digress.

The point is that on Sunday, I rested.

Truly rested.

Didn't do yoga, didn't clean the house, didn't garden, didn't get off my lazy ass.

And I felt wonderful!

Those rest days have been put on our schedule for a reason.

And I love them!

Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's the 4th of July.

But it's also Saturday.

That means it is my long run day. Six miles.

Six miles.

I am nervous about six miles. It seems to far. And truth be told, the last time I did six miles was as far as I ran before I had to drop out. I tried running seven once. Once. It didn't work out so well.

My route has been mapped. Ironically, my route ends right at a house Jamie and I were interested in buying. Unfortunately, we are unable to make any sort of financial move like that right now.

I see that as a good sign - ending at the house, not that we have no money. I am always looking for signs.

The course is also relatively flat.

I want to get an early start so that I am finished and can either sit and relax for the day or curl up and die.

There is not a soul out this morning. The roads are completely empty. I dismiss with running on the sidewalk and run right on the street. I am practically running in the center of my running lane. I feel free! Unhindered in any way.

And my run is spectacular. Yes, I do have to invoke my mantra for the last mile (you can do anything for a mile), but just the last mile. The other five seem to come easily. I am getting the hang of this running thing.

Running this early, I feel unobserved. I don't feel the least bit bothered by staring a bit too long at someone's front garden or other landscaping or other home related coolness.

I also observe my surroundings a bit more closely. When the only sound you hear is the sound of your Shuffle, you turn it down a bit to listen to the world around you. It sounds impossible, but it isn't. Try it on your own Saturday morning when you are running in near seclusion.

I also love my town. A man rides by me on his bike. He seems to want to take advantage of the early morning also.

He is riding a bike that has an attachment in the back for a child rider. I am sure it has a name. Perhaps if I had children, I would know the name. Hell, if I had children, I would probably own one. Let's just call it a tot attachment. It is obviously for a child to pedal along with mom or dad.

The reason I mention it and describe it is because it seemed to be missing its rider. As a self-proclaimed smart ass, part of me wanted to yell, "dude, I think you lost something," or "dude, you better backtrack to get your child." I didn't and thank God because those comments aren't the least bit clever. Honestly, I didn't want to hear my own voice. Or any voice.

He rode in silence and I ran in silence.

I also passed the usual suspects. There is a woman I find inspirational. I know not one damn thing about her other than that she exercises every day. She is also older. If I had to guess I would say she is at least 65 or 70. If she isn't power walking (and doing it faster than I run, I should add), she is cycling. She usually cycles with another woman - a daughter, friend, I have no idea. We always say hello, smile, wave.

It doesn't matter that there is solitude. It doesn't matter that I didn't want to yell at the lone biker. I have to say hello to them. And I said hello and "happy 4th."

Because that's what country folk do on a Saturday morning.

On my run back to the house, the man with the tot attachment passed again. He was still missing his rider.

And I suspect that no matter how much he loves said rider, he was blessing the solitude too.

I don't have to run today!

2009-07-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

I woke up and felt relief. I felt relaxed. I do not have to run today! Today is a rest day.

Of course, I did do yoga.

And it felt wonderful.

I think I need yoga to keep me limber and able to run.

I also sent my letters/newsletters to my unsuspecting friends and family. I hope to reach my fundraising goal! Thank you to everyone for supporting me.

It's raining snails and slugs!

2009-07-02T12:14:00.000-07:00

Not really, but there sure are an inordinate number of snails and slugs - and I don't mean slow runners like me.

We have had rain every day for a week. I may be exaggerating, but not by much. As a result, the roadways and sidewalks are riddled with snails and slugs. Thank God there aren't worms, which is surprising to me. Snails and slugs are easier to jump over. Not that worms pose some serious roadblock, but they are bigger. Snakes would also get in my way, as would bears and deer, but I am getting off topic.

I woke up this morning and all I heard was pouring rain. I thought that it better clear up a bit before I run or I will be pissed off. I didn't want to wait to run in the afternoon. I like the morning workout.

It did clear up by about 10:30, so I thought I better take advantage of it. Of course, at about mile 1.25 (3 mile run today), it started to rain. Since I don't run fast, I knew I would end up soaked by the end.

But it stopped. It was almost a tease to see how I would react. Well, I took it in stride. At that point, the only thing to do was laugh. What, was I going to get upset because I was going to get soaked to the skin in the rain? There wasn't much I could do considering that I was 1.25 miles from home, so I kept running and laughing.

I had just heard Duran Duran's Hold Back the Rain on my Shuffle. Damn you Simon LeBon!

My first two miles were a bit lagging. I took a route that has an uphill - an actual uphill, not an incline - and it kinda kicked my ass. And I am tired. I think I am still trying to get into a groove. Running four days a week with Friday off and then a long run on Saturday and then Sunday off hasn't settled in yet. I need to settle. When does that happen?

But I did think that if I ran early in the day, I would have more time off before the long run.

Hey, whatever motivation works.

The upside to running in the rain is that it is a perfect excuse to take a bath afterward. And the weather we have been having has been a bit chilly, but still humid. And when it rains, it is cool and damp. Perfect bath weather. If you are reading this thinking, 'oh, finally some juice, she'll tell us about her bath,' think again, pervert. This is a family program!

But I did sit in the tub with my People double issue celebrating the life of Michael Jackson.

If you think it's odd that I sit naked in a tub reading about MJ, don't worry. He wouldn't have been interested in me because I am female and forty. And I wouldn't have been interested in him because, well, really, do you need me to fill in the blanks?

On another note, I talked to one of my neighbor's last night. A package of mine was inadvertently delivered to her house so she brought it over to me. It was very nice of her. Instead of just thanking her and saying 'good-bye,' I started to talk to her and I am glad I did. We went to high school together and were in the same year until she decided to graduate a year early by taking summer classes. So we are the same age, but she graduated a year ahead of me.

We talked about how she was doing, how I was doing. She mentioned that things haven't been going so well for her. I asked if she wanted to elaborate and she told me that her sister had cancer. Her sister - Becky - is a year younger than us. That is damn young to have cancer.

She told me that it should be okay. She has a 90% cure/survival rate. I told her that was good news and that I would keep her in my thoughts. I thought I would pry further by asking what type of cancer.

Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I told her that I was training to run a marathon to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and isn't this a small world. I did ask if it was okay to mention Becky's name in my training blog and so on. She said fine.

Then she said that she didn't know I ran marathons. I had to correct her and say that I don't, as a general rule, but that I wanted to challenge myself. I told her I am not planning to win, but if she sees me running, yell some words of encouragement or get me a stretcher or something.

Then I told her about my upcoming fundraiser at Weber's Grille and asked her to come by. I hope to see her.

And I hope Becky does well. Becky, I ran for you today. While I was in the rain cursing Duran Duran, I did wonder how you are. I did think about the struggle you face every day.

And then running in the rain didn't seem so bad.

And the bath...cleansing, relaxing and rejuvenating.

Get well, Becky!

Oh Boy am I Tired!

2009-07-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a struggle. I had to run only 2.5 miles, but it seemed daunting. It took all my energy to get outside to run. Once I got started, things seemed okay. But just okay.

Of course, last night I went to yoga because I love it. I am thinking that now that mileage is ramping up, I am not going to be able to run and do yoga on the same day. I am bummed because I like the class, but I have made this commitment and need to stick to it. So I will do yoga on rest days.

It won't be with the class, though.

And I find that I am tired after I run and have a hard time getting into the swing of things. I am working from home over the summer, which makes it more difficult to motivate, but I should still be able to get things done. Thank God I can read and call it a job.

On a brighter note, I finished my fundraising "newsletter." I put together a newsletter detailing the Team in Training program and why I am doing this. I mention my work with the group in 2004 when I trained and completed a Century Ride in Lake Tahoe. I also discuss ways in which you may help me reach my fundraising goal. I wanted to attach it, but can't attach a document here. Please visit my personal website to download a copy: http://www.pwhoffmann.com/

As a note, I reference an upcoming fundraiser. If anyone lives in or near Alden, feel free to join us at Weber's Grille on Broadway Wednesday, August 5 from 4-7 p.m. for tarot card readings, Wild Mountain Organics and food!

Hit the road

2009-06-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hit the road is what I almost did.

Four miles was my run today and it took me forever to get through it. When I finished, I wanted to lay down on the pavement and hug it. But I am not quite sure how to hug a flat surface. And it has been raining so there are worms and slugs everywhere. I don't want to hug them.

I started out rather sluggish. I also have to admit that I was reluctant to start. I kept putting it off because four miles seemed so daunting given that this is the longest I have run during the week on my own. I ran five miles last week with a group and with encouragement. I am not the best motivator, it turns out. Sure, when I have one mile left, I say to myself, 'you can do anything for a mile.'

Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. What would I be doing for a mile? Shopping? Lunging? Shouting? What does one do for a mile other than run or cycle or swim. Okay, I guess there are many things I could do for a mile. So I guess my mantra works.

I will have to expand it to, 'you can do anything for 2 miles, 3 miles, 4 miles, 26.2 miles.'

At least I managed to finish my run before it started raining again. And I am running in the morning before it gets too damn hot. I still sweat as if it's my job. And if it were my job, I would be getting kudos and raises all the time because I am a champ!

I recall that I used to work out in the morning. I would be up at 5:30 to row at the West Side Rowing Club or spinning at the Buffalo Athletic Club. And I loved it! Rowing in the morning when everyone is sleeping is the most sublime experience. And spinning when you aren't even sure you are awake has its benefits. If you do things before you are able to recognize the insanity in it, good things happen.

Like this marathon. I am starting to wonder if I really have lost my mind.....But I signed up before I starting thinking that way. And once I make a commitment, I tend to stick to it.

But I will say this - my thighs look good!

Monday is back

2009-06-29T10:09:00.001-07:00

This is week three of training. Week three.

I cannot believe I have made it this far and haven't had any issues. I am not sure why I expected to have issues, but I did. Knock on wood that nothing happens.

Two miles today. And two miles came and went without much incident. I am getting better at this! I feel better, I feel as though I look like a runner and I feel as though I am making progress.

In fact, when I got home, I was quite motivated to get some work done. I have been waiting for that kind of motivation for some time.

So I better get something done before the feeling passes and I want to sit on my lazy ass again.

Ah, summer!

Ah, Sunday

2009-06-29T10:06:00.001-07:00

Another rest day.

But I want to do yoga.

So I do.

And I drink wine.

It was a good day.

5 miles

2009-06-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a long run. We run with the group on the Amherst Bike Trail. I have mentioned that I like this trail. It is well marked and relatively flat. There are also all kinds of people on it all the time. I feel safe. Even with all the people, you still find wildlife on the sidelines. Today I saw assorted birds and a woodchuck. It was like running in my backyard. But not.

I started running with one of the walkers. She was running to start and I realized that we run at about the same pace. That made me feel good. A fellow runner. She had to stop to walk, though, so that made me feel even better because it made me feel like a runner.

Ellen, one of our trainer's, ran with me for some time. We talked and realized what a small world it was. We had many acquaintances in common, and it was nice to hear how people were doing. Turns out may of my old colleagues at the Catholic Health System are related or friends of hers in some way. I have been out of touch with many of them, so hearing about them was cool.

I also realized that I don't run and talk very well. I never do it. I run alone. Who the hell am I going to talk to? I don't even sing along to my IPod when I run. That takes energy away from the task at hand. I need focus and discipline to run as slowly as I do. I can't have a distraction like talking.

But it was nice. Before I knew it, I had run a mile. And I think I did it faster than normal. Then I ran two. Then Ellen had to hang behind to make sure others were on the right track and were okay. I was faced with solitude for about a mile. It was rather nice. The day was perfect. The sun was out but it was still too early to be damn hot. The trail ran along Ellicott Creek and I felt quite good running alongside the Creek.

This Saturday was also the day for the Ride for Roswell. It is one of the big fundraisers for Roswell Park Cancer Institute, a premier cancer center right in Buffalo. I did the Ride for Roswell in 2004 fresh off my century ride. Today, I was running next to several riders.

I had missed the elite riders who had set off for the longer mileage ride. Instead, I got families and friends on ten-speeds or cruisers or mountain bikes or bikes with banana seats (still super cool). Many were wearing t-shirts with pictures on them or with names on them. There was a team with yellow t-shirts emblazoned with the face of a young woman. My guess is that she didn't survive her battle with cancer and this group of folks was riding in her honor. See how quick I am to determine that? Do I know that for sure? Of course not, but it doesn't take a genius to reach that conclusion.

I had passed the group as I made my way from mile 2 to 2.5. It wasn't until I was on my way back to mile 2 and back to the start that I passed the group again and started to tear up.

I started to think about the woman whose face was printed on the yellow t-shirts. What was she like? How old was she? What cancer got her in the end? Why are her friends smiling? How are they not crying? I don't know her and I want to cry and hug each one of them.

I started thinking about my own father and the cancer that got him and the fact that he was 42 when he died and I will be 40 in another month or so. Then I realized that I have been alive longer without him in my life than I have been with him in it.

What does that mean? That means that I need to have either a good cry about this or I need to suck it up and finish running the 5 miles that I need to run today.

And I smiled.

And I thought about the folks riding for the yellow woman (it's what I call her now). And I knew why they smiled. They can. And I can. And I can keep running.

I caught up with Ellen with about 1.5 miles to go. I was pumped from the energy of the bike riders. I had this new-found optimism.

Then we came to a mountain in the road.

It was an incline, really, but when you've run nearly 4 miles and you don't really do this, that small incline may as well be Mt. Everest without the annoying oxygen deprivation.

I thought I was still running and Ellen was running beside me talking to me.

Then she stopped to a walk.

But I didn't.

I was still running.

I looked over at her and wanted to scream, "For the love of all things Holy, Ellen, do you want to pretend I am running? Make an effort to run with me even though I have slowed to the pace of a drunk snail? Can you not take what's left of my self esteem and pile it under the rock you just walked past but that I huffed it by?"

She either realized I was running or realized, shit, I've just killed all optimism in this poor woman, and she started to run again.

Then she told me she was hanging back to wait for the others. To make sure they were okay.

I couldn't shake the walking. Every person I saw on the path in front of me was a menace. I had to get by all of the walkers.

There was an elderly gentleman in front of me. He had to be in his seventies. I kept pace with him for a bit until I realized I was running and he was not. So I picked up my pace and passed him. Woo hoo! A small victory!

Then there was another group of old folks, three in total, I think. They too had to fall to my running prowess. I passed them also. Yes, another victory!

Then I was pooped. That drained me. But I couldn't slow down. I cannot even imagine the personal embarrassment if I was passed by the same seniors I had just ably run by! Arrrggghhh!

After I finished RUNNING, I stretched and talked to some other folks who had hung back after their runs. I like the group dynamic of the Saturday long runs. I think I am even enjoying the talking!

It seems evident that the Amherst Bike Path is where all sorts of TNT alumni go to run on weekends. We met Sheila, a woman who had run eight marathons and a slew of half marathons. Her advice to us was that we follow the schedule. We should do exactly as it says. If it says run two miles, run two miles. Even if you feel better and feel as though you could run more, just run what is on the schedule.

You don't have to tell me twice, Sheila.

Then she told us that she started running when she was 66 and now she's 77. Those are not typos. 66. I hope I am still running when I am 66. Hell, I hope I am still alive when I am 66. But 77? Jesus, I love this woman! What an inspiration. And she is a cancer survivor. I am not sure which cancer, but come on! If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will.

So I had a great day. I was inspired by the riders riding for Roswell and I was inspired by Sheila. I was also inspired by Ellen. Hell, if she hasn't started walking, I might not have passed the senior citizens!

Rest Day

2009-06-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Last week's Friday rest day, I think I did yoga. Today I wanted to do yoga and then I thought, why don't you rest? Why don't you sit on your happy ass and do nothing.

So I did.

And I didn't feel guilty.

And I enjoyed it.

And every time I type the word marathon, I first type marathong and have to edit it.

Why? What do you suppose that means?

I also got a massage today. My therapist told me that I wasn't my normal bundle of tight muscles and whatever I am doing I should keep doing it.

Perhaps this running thing is good for me after all.

On a fundraising note, I spoke with Sharon, the woman who owns our favorite diner - Weber's Grill - across the street from our house. She offered to open the restaurant Wednesday, August 5 for a fundraiser for me. I am going to read tarot cards and sell Wild Mountain Organics and she is going to serve a limited menu. We are both thrilled by this and hope that we can repeat it again in August and September, if things go well. I am going to develop some marketing pieces for her to display in the restaurant. I am also going to talk to the local papers to put a piece in. I think this is cool and different. And I'm excited! Tarot cards I do well.

Why is this painful?!

2009-06-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Three miles shouldn't be bad. I keep saying this over and over. Two miles, three miles, shouldn't be bad.

Then I have to remind myself that while I have run in the past and have run two and three miles, I have never run four days in a row. I like to mix up my workout. Run one day, bike the next, then do yoga, then swim or something. I never run two days in a row.

So why are two and three mile runs killing me? Because I never do them like this. Eventually it will get easier. Hell, it has to or I am in for a whole world of hurt.

Two more miles

2009-06-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

I went to yoga last night. Even though I ran three miles yesterday, I needed yoga. I like the energy in the room when the group is doing yoga together. I do enjoy doing yoga in my living room, but it isn't the same.

So that's two workouts in one day. That's a lot.

When I woke up this morning to run two miles - only two miles - I realized that I wanted to run as much as I wanted to shoot myself with a staple gun. But I ran. I am afraid of not sticking to the schedule. I want to make sure I can run this marathon ad sticking to the schedule will ensure I can. Or at least ensure I should. Skipping a workout cannot happen - unless I am injured or dying. Which won't happen because I am following the tried and true schedule. I am a mimic.

But once I got started, two miles didn't seem so bad. Granted, it took me forever, but I did it. I didn't shave any time today. In fact, I don't think I'm as fast as I originally thought. I measured my routes last night on the way to yoga and realized that I was off my a couple of feet. Hey - that couple of feet might not matter now, but it might in the future.

So I stand corrected.

And I run more slowly than I first thought.

Egads.

A Wall Already?

2009-06-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a three mile run. This should be pretty straightforward now. I shoudn't be killing myself for three miles.

Well, I don't know what happened. I ran the first mile and was feeling damn good! In fact, I shaved another five seconds off my mile time (shut up - I still run like the proverbial tortoise).

Then I hit a wall. How could that be? How could I be doing so well and then shit the bed?

I ate breakfast this morning, thinking that would help. Perhaps I should stick with my peach or other piece of fruit and coffee instead of an English muffin with peanut butter. I thought it would help.

I also ran about an hour later than I usually do.

And it is getting warmer outside.

All of these things have conspired against me! Bastards all of you!

That's okay. When I finished - with a horrible time - I felt pretty good. I was tired and hot and sweaty, but I felt pretty good.

Good enough to go to yoga tonight.

And good enough to continue fundraising.

A giant thank to you for supporting me to one of St. Bonaventure's trustees and a wonderful and inspiring woman - Laurie Branch. I need the confidence you willingly give!

I am hitting my stride

2009-06-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

Today is only two miles and I expect to polish it off without much problem. In fact, on the shorter runs I hope to shave some time off of my mile. I am not telling you my time on purpose. You will laugh. It is slow. SLOW.

I am fond of running in the morning. I have no excuses. Later in the day I could be tired, the weather could change, I could have a wonderful engagement to attend to. But in the morning, I have nothing but the paper and my coffee. And they can wait.

If I can pick up my pace, they won't have to wait as long.

Two miles felt good today. And I did shave time. I shaved about 15 seconds off the two miles. That doesn't sound like much, but it is a small victory for me and I make it a point to cherish all victories, however small.

Now I am motivated to get some work done today. I plan to set up a Facebook site or invitation or whatever it's called so that I can rally the troops on my Facebook page to support me. I know finances are tough, but I certainly do want to meet my fundraising goal.

I already have two people requesting tarot card parties. And my favorite little diner -Weber's Grill - has offered to put on a tarot party for me after hours. It is very exciting. So if I have a Facebook page, I can send notices to folks.

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

My first long run!

2009-06-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am running with the Team in Training group today. I am excited.

Until I wake up at 6 a.m. and hear rain beating against the window. It is pouring like a bitch outside. I lay in bed wondering if I should get up. Our run isn't until 7:30 so I do have some time, but it is raining like a bitch. I do not mind running in the rain, but not a downpour. I sweat like a huge sweaty person anyway, so I end up wet when I finish, but I would like to not be wet when I start.

I get up and hope for the best. By about 6:45, the rain had stopped. I am elated! I can run four miles without getting soaked to the skin!

I take a peach and my coffee with me as I drive to meet the group at the Amherst Bike Path. I learned from my three mile run the other day that I need some food. And coffee is a must. The bike path is a wonderful path to run or exercise. It is well marked and maintained. And since they caught the bike path rapist/killer, it is also relatively safe. But I am with the Team in Training group. What could happen?

Everyone seems nervous when I get there. I have the benefit of having started marathon training with Team in Training a few years ago. I didn't finish, but I am no longer nervous. I used to think I was horrible because I don't run fast. In fact, some walkers might pass me. Now I know that each person is different. My strength is that I am steady. I start running slowly and that's how I finish. I am nothing if not consistent.

Lat night I made sure to download motivational music to my IPod shuffle. I wanted to make sure that nothing would prevent me from finishing the four mile run. I remember the last time I did this, I had to walk part of the four mile run. I was determined not to do that today!

And I didn't. I was able to make it through the entire four miles without issue. And no walkers passed me! Of course, I am the slowest of the runners. In fact, one overachieving runner was able to run six miles in the time it took me to run four, but that's okay. We are not the same. And I ran four miles.

I also realize that I like running alone. Other folks like to run and talk. I do not. I like to be lost in my music enjoying the world around me. For instance, while running I saw two deer grazing in the distance near the tree line. It was beautiful and I was able to enjoy it by myself without having commentary from anyone. My own mental commentary was plenty.

Of course, it would be nice if I could run as fast as some others, but it is what it is.

And I finished.

Three Miles

2009-06-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

After running two miles yesterday, I thought three today would be okay. I regularly run three miles, when I run, which is not regularly, come to think about it.

I get an early start because it is supposed to rain all day and while I don't mind running in the rain, I would prefer not to run in the rain. I also have an appointment with my hair stylist at 9 a.m. Once I get my hair cut, colored and styled, I won't want to sweat, so I have to run before my appointment.

6:55 a.m. is my start. I am reminded immediately that I am insane. This is God-awful early to be doing anything, let alone running three miles. It is not too early to sip coffee and read the paper. But that won' t help my marathon training.

My usual three mile route takes me up my tree-lined street - very picturesque - and around the corner to the railroad tracks and back. It is tough. Then I remember that I should eat something before I run. Coffee alone won't help me. At least a peach or berries or something.

Later I find out that my brother passed me on his way to work. He asked me if that was me running. He didn't realize it until he had passed. I wanted to ask him how I looked running. Did I look as though I am a runner. Or did I look as though I should be stopped and helped to a cot. Knowing my brother, I am guessing if I looked distressed, he would have stopped to offer assistance. So I must look like a runner.

At least I like to think I do.

Training - Week One

2009-06-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

Last night was our Team in Training kick-off party. We were able to get all of the information we might need to help us in our fundraising efforts as well as in our training.

First order of business - run.

Looking at the schedule, I realized that I ran 3 miles on Monday instead of the 2 miles noted. I felt pretty good knowing that I did more than expected. I did not, however, run the 2.5 noted for Tuesday. That will have to do. I ran an extra mile on Monday and certainly worked out on Tuesday so I am not slacking.....

Today I thought I would beat the weather and run my 2 miles in the morning. It has looked like rain all day so I thought I better run while I can stay dry. Not that it ever matters. I sweat as if it's my job, so rain might actually feel good.

At any rate, since I had run 3 miles on Monday and wasn't sure I could (I had just returned from Africa with my students and hadn't done anything athletic in about a month so I thought I might be hurting - and I did hurt a bit), I thought I could polish off 2 miles in no time and with no effort.

God, I am a dumbass.

I was able to run the 2 miles without killing myself, but I was tired and sweating. I did feel good afterward, but getting to afterward took some effort. I am already planning ahead for my runs - when will I run, how will I squeeze the run into my day (I want to run in the morning before it gets too blinking hot), what will I do when I can't run on Saturday with the group?

I am also starting to worry about the fundraising. We are in a recession and I have decided to hit up my family and friends to support my training efforts. They already think I am God-damned insane. This pretty much eliminates all doubt.

Until tomorrow.....

A New Start

2009-06-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

This blog has never really gotten off the ground. I think when I started this blog, I was training for something. Then I think I was using it to document my weight loss (which has been awesome). Or did I start it to document my weight loss and was then going to use it to document some training for something?

Who the hell knows.

At any rate, now I plan to use it to document my marathon training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. I did the century ride in 2004. The experience was so wonderful, I thought I would do it again.

There are other reasons I have decided to abuse my body by training for a 26.2 mile bruiser. Here they are:

I am turning 40 on August 9. I am excited because it is a milestone birthday and because birthdays always include cake and booze. In order for me to eat a lot of cake and drink a lot of booze without gaining a lot of weight, I better be running for something!
I am turning 40 on August 9. Yes, I've already said that, but this bullet is different. I can't turn 40 and just have cake and booze. I have to do something more than that. I have to challenge myself. Most people think 40 is an age in which your body fails you and you give up and resign yourself to aging gracefully. I fully intend to age gracefully, but I also intend to challenge myself physically and mentally. What better way than to run a marathon?
It is on my lifetime list. Many call this their bucket list. I prefer lifetime list. Who knows why. I cycled 100 miles in 2004. Why not try for running 26.2 miles in 2009? Next year I plan to try the triathlon. Why couldn't my goals include getting up in the morning and sitting on my ass all day long? Because that would make me dreadfully dull. And I have a rule to never be dreadfully dull. I can be a bitch, but never dull.
I have already lost 42 pounds of the 50 I wanted to lose. If I can't lose the remainder of the weight while training for a marathon, I'm not meant to lose it!
The money I raise will help to eradicate blood cancers. I lost my father to cancer. Granted, it wasn't leukemia or lymphoma, but does that matter? Perhaps because of the money I am able to raise and the awareness I am able to garner, one person doesn't die of a blood cancer. One person is able to live. Imagine.
I have never struggled with cancer, but have seen others struggle. I would love it if no one had to struggle with cancer again. I would love it if in the future I have to run a marathon for myself because no one needs me to raise money for a wonderful cause.
My fight to run a marathon is nothing compared to the battle cancer patients fight. I think I am abusing my body, and I am, but cancer patients face abuse each day. My pain will be worth it to help alleviate the pain of at least one patient.
My honored patient has a masters degree in Chemistry. That immediately makes him uber cool!

Please check this blog as I plan to update it as often as possible. It will document my fundraising and my training. For more information on how you may help, please visit my website.

UGH! Fat Bastard Bride

2007-12-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

I am the fat bastard bride! I tried on, and purchased, my wedding dress a couple of weeks ago. I look good, but I could look awesome!

My belly and my boobs are aligned when I look down and I don't much like it.

I am going to get back on track and do something. I know that I can lose weight, so why don't I? And why do I keep gaining weight?

Back on track.....

Updates regularly...

One month in

2007-04-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

It has been one month and I feel wonderful. I have already started to not crave crap. In fact, when I do eat crap, I feel like crap. I try to remember that each time someone gives me something that is wonderful. I eat it and feel like crap. Stop doing that.

My stats have changed in one month and I am happy to report them below:

Height: 5'11" (unchanged, of course)
Weight: 215 (lost 10 pounts!)
Waist: 37.75"
Hips: 43.5"
Thight: 25"
Bicep: 14"
Bust: 44"

Not bad!

I am also going to sign up for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training program and train for the Marine Corps Marathon in DC in October. I will be able to use this blog for its originally intended purpose - hence the name "Tippy Training."

Will blog again soon. If I am not working out and eating well!

Week Three

2007-04-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

My plan to update the blog daily has failed. I am lucky to update the blog weekly. That will have to do.

It will have to do because I lost another 3 pounds! Woo hoo!

What's even better is I don't feel compelled to do as others do. Yesterday, my family ordered subs from the local pizza joint. Everyone ordered a whole sub but me. I said, nope, give me a half. And I was completely satisfied and also damn happy that I didn't get a whole sub because I would have eaten a whole sub. Normally, I would order a whole sub and some french fries or something.

Then we went to dinner last night and I didn't go overboard. I felt quite good about that.

I didn't work out last week as much as I would have liked, but plan to get back into it. Our weather has sucked, making it quite difficult to go outside and do things. I need to do that. I have been cooped up inside too long! We need to get out!

But 3 more pounds. Not a bad weight loss - although my Weight Watchers tracker tells me to slow down because you should only lose 2 pounds per week. I am not depriving myself (that is for damn sure) so I don't know why I am losing quickly. I am adhering to the program and feel fabulous.

Summer bikini body, here I come!

Behind Already....but Ahead

2007-04-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

I know that I said I would keep this blog updated as I continued on my quest for health and fitness, but I have been slacking.

That is not to say that I have been slacking in my quest for health and fitness. On the contrary.....

Last week was the first official week and I lost 5 pounds! I suspect it is because the Weight Watchers website was using my previous weight which was 25 pounds lighter than now. I did enter my new weight, but forgot to hit reset, so I had the wrong points allowance for the day. I was able to do it without being hungry, but....

I also started working out more. The thing with Weight Watchers is that you get to add points to your daily points allowance if you workout. I love math and numbers (because I am a goober) so this works for me. I challenge myself to workout so that I can justify adding something to my diet. I can eat my low calorie desserts because I ran or did yoga or did my step 'n pump.

Speaking of step 'n pump - I had done this about 3 or 4 weeks ago and thought I was going to die. Then I did it this week after other workouts and after eating better and I was a champ! I felt like a million bucks and didn't want to stop. But I figured I better since I didn't want to overdo it and injure myself.

My reward at the end of the week was a wonderful massage. And damn, did I need it!

Here's to another great week! Hope to check in more than once per week.

With any luck I will be able to get outside to run and/or bike. I don't mind running in the snow and cold, but I prefer not to. I want to get out of my living room!

Bike Ride

2007-04-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was absolutely the perfect day for a bike ride! The weather was 77 degrees when I left campus. It was a little colder at home, but what does that mean? 65 degrees? Big deal. Still warm.

I thought that I better take advantage of the weather since today it is expected to cool considerably and possibly - gasp - snow! So I went out for a ride.

I put on my cycling duds - padded shorts, funky cycling top, sassy gloves - and off I went. In the past, I have been able to ride for quite a distance without tiring. Yesterday it was across the street! Then I started to get tired. This can't be happening. I can't get this out of shape again.

In the past, I have also enjoyed looking at my thighs while I ride. I know that sounds crazy or narcissistic, but I have pretty nice thighs. They are quite muscular and sassy. Or they were quite muscular and sassy. Now they look like enormous sausages without any definition whatsoever. Oh I know the muscles are there screaming to be released. Soon - I promise! That should be ample motivation to continue working out - seeing the definition in my thighs emerge.

I love cycling. As much as I was winded, I also enjoy seeing the neighborhood. I like seeing the spring flowers coming up. I also like getting ideas for my own garden or my own home. I like the fresh air. I like the solitude. I also do quite a bit of thinking while I ride. Most of the time it's about nothing of consequence. Sometimes I solve problems, sometimes I just think about what's for dinner. I planned my garden while I rode yesterday. I thought about renovations to my home. I thought about my flowers. I thought about the pain I might be in after pushing myself.

That's the other thing I remember when I get on my weight loss kick. I enjoy cooking.

Since it is rainy and icky today, I plan to do something indoors. Perhaps I will do my step 'n pump that I enjoy - combination of step aerobics and weight training. I love that and always feel good afterward.

Dissertation 25

2007-04-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

I had the most horrible experience the other day. It was a perfectly nice day in Western New York. The weather was sublime. I like to break out the spring/summer clothes whenever the weather cooperates so early in the season.

I donned a sleeveless shirt and was feeling pretty good.

Until I got to work and looked in the bathroom mirror.

I have fat, old woman arms! I was demoralized! Even my elbows had fat!

I wondered how I was able to lose 20 to 25 pounds and then decide to gain it all back time and again. I knew that the stress of last semester (I'm a college professor) allowed me to eat uncontrollably. I knew that finishing my dissertation helped put on the weight.

But all 25 of those hard earned pounds that I had lost? What the hell?!

So I decided the only way to do it is to really make that change and track my progress publically so that I am held accountable for all of my shortcomings and successes.

This begins that journey.

I already know that when I eat well and exercise, I feel like a million bucks. I have crazy energy and even stop craving crap. I just have to remind myself that I am in this for the long haul.

I also get disheartened and encouraged when I see people who take a billion drugs for God knows what ailment. I refuse to be those people. I say disheartened because I am sure they didn't intend to get there either and because I am quite appaled at big pharmaceuticals; encouraged because I recognize early enough, I hope, that I don't need to be among them.

Here's hoping it sticks this time. Keep me honest!

Here are the stats as I know them now:
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 225
Waist: 38.75"
Hips: 44"
Thigh: 25.5"
Bust: 44"
Bicep: 14
Goal Weight: 175 (or so - we may reevaluate as we get closer)
Goal size - much smaller!

Stagnation

2006-04-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

I seem to get to a couple different weights and just stall. I am quite happy that I have stalled here because I strapped on the feedbag this weekend. I am surprised I didn't gain! But thrilled that I didn't gain!

What I find most interesting is that I bought some fun things for dessert last night. I thought I would love them. I found myself eating them and not really enjoying them. Keep in mind that before I started my weight loss mayhem I would have scarfed them down and enjoyed every minute of it. But now I felt unsatisfied. When I eat fruit, however, I feel completely sated. What gives? Hell, I love it!

My massage therapist told me about an organic farm cooperative near me. I had read about these but wasn't sure there were any local farmers doing this. For an annual fee, you are entitled to a share in the farmer's crop. And the fruits and veggies that this cooperative offers are pretty impressive.

So I called my friend and her husband knowing they would love this. I have to get more detailed information and hope that it isn't too late to join. This is going to be fabulous for my diet, my environment and my wallet!

I love my size 14's!

2006-04-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

So I finally graduated from the size 16's I said I would never buy to the size 14's I had been in for years.

My next goal is to get into a 12. I cannot even imagine that glee!

I was so excited yesterday morning that I emailed all the girls in the office and told them to come take a look at my ass in the pants I hadn't gotten into in months! Of course, I meant it in a non-harassing kind of way. But it felt good.

My weight loss to date is 21 pounds. 4 more pounds and I am at my half-way point. I cannot believe that I have been able to stick with this for 3 whole months. And I am showing no signs of slowing down! This is fabulous!

And with warm weather coming, I am assured success since I will be outdoors running, biking, hiking, swimming, kayaking, etc.

Happy trails!

Frustration and then.....

2006-03-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

I have been weighing in every Monday to post my weight to my Weight Watchers online program. Of course, I have been weighing myself damn near every day just to make sure I am on track. I read that somewhere and thought it horribly obsessive, but here I am doing it!

I have been weighing in at the same weight for the last 3 weeks. It has been frustrating. I have been doing everything right - except when I was in St. Bernard Parish on my hurricane relief trip in which I ate everything I could see because I was hungry and didn't really like what they fed us. I haven't been exercising as often, but have been eating to compensate.

I did try on a pair of my smaller jeans and they fit! They were snug, yes, but I wore them an entire day without busting anything. It felt awesome. It also felt wonderful when one of my colleagues mentioned that she didn't think they were so snug. She could have been lying and I didn't care! I love her for the comment!

I weighed myself this morning expecting to be at the same point as Monday and - surprise - I have lost a couple pounds.

What I am most proud of is that, despite the fact that the scale hadn't budged in 3 weeks, I did not use that as an excuse to rush out and eat pizza, ice cream, chicken wings and all manner of other bad things because what's the difference. I said, well, at least you haven't gained. And you do feel better when you eat well.

And so it goes.

And I'm Back!

2006-02-27T08:03:00.000-08:00

Today is a month mark. That means that in addition to weighing in, I also take measurements. I cannot even tell you how excited I am that things are going so well. Not only do my "big ass" jeans fit loosely (I should get a bet), but I feel so much better.

I lost another two pounds this week - that's 6 for this month - 15 total since starting Jan. 2.

In one month I lost:

Almost 2 inches off my waist.
1.5 inches off my hips.
An inch from my bust.
Almost an inch off my thighs.
A quarter inch off my biceps.

Total in two months:

Almost 4 inches off my waist.
2 inches off my hips.
3 inches from my bust.
Just over an inch off my thighs.
A half inch off my biceps.

That's rather exciting.

More exciting is that I gathered with friends yesterday, several of whom are also trying to lose weight via Weight Watchers. I hope we can inspire each other. I found myself surrounded by this yummy food - most of which was "friendly" and I wasn't tempted beyond being full. Normally I gorge myself and then eat people's limbs when I'm finished with the dill dip. Not yesterday. I was full and I was fine. I love it!

I also can't wait to get home today to workout. Who says these things?

Disappointed

2006-02-22T07:38:00.000-08:00

I weighed myself this week and was sorely disappointed - I didn't lose - I stayed the same. Granted, I did kinda cheat over the weekend. Just kinda. So I tried to talk myself out of the slump. "You know, you did cheat and didn't gain. That's good news."

It didn't do much to soothe me, however.

Then I didn't workout for two days because I was being a cry-baby.

So I said, get your lazy ass out of bed and get thee to the Richter Center.

I wanted to workout this morning as much as I wanted to give myself paper cuts all over my body and jump in a vat of vinegar, but I did it (the workout that is). I told myself I would run for at least 15 minutes and then decide if I wanted to bike or whatever.

I ran for 45 minutes and could have kept going. What a feeling! Now I should make a sign that reads "get your lazy ass out of bed and get to the gym because you will feel much better as a result."

Now I can justify eating Girl Scout Cookies. I hate those damn Girl Scouts and their freaking cookies. On the plus side, the Girl Scouts have a new cookie this year. Cafe Cookie. It's like a cinnamon sugar cookie and it is damn good! Enjoy!

Pants

2006-02-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

You know you are successful when pants that used to fit but then didn't fit now fit again.

I have been wearing elastic waistband pants for months. I am now comfortably sitting here typing this in a pair of pants with an actual zipper and button.

And I can breath.

And I am not restricted in movement.

I love it!

Shovel This

2006-02-14T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ah - I have to shovel my driveway this afternoon. I love it! Shovelling is pretty good exercise. I don't just shovel, rest, shovel, rest - I bust my ass to get the snow off the driveway and accompanying sidewalks as quickly as possible. It's like a run, but not.

I hope that by the time I get home, the snow isn't too heavy. Then it will weigh on my back. But then I always have yoga! Wonderful zen experience before I go to dinner for V-Day and deal with all that revelry.

So, I look forward to shovelling. Perhaps the weight loss is making me lose my mind. Who can say?

And yet, more!

2006-02-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

Another 2 pounds. At this rate, I will be at my target weight by July 1. That's just in time to bust out my sassy bikini. Of course, I will still be white as a ghost because I don't like to tan and those spray on tans scare me. What is in those chemicals, exactly? No thanks.

I went cross country skiing the other day. It was free as part of Alden's Winterfest activities. What fun. Yes, I was killing myself, but I was able to do it. I was out in the woods and it started snowing. It was just perfect standing there, trying to breath, letting the snowflakes fall on my face.

It sounds more serene than it was. I was trying to catch my breath and cool down so I let the snow fall on my face. Wonderful! I think this Fri. I may try to hit an actual cross country skiing area with groomed trails. We will see!

Step N Pump

2006-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

There was a class I used to take at the BAC when I was a member. It was called Step N Pump. It was a one hour class that incorported step aerobics with weights/strength training. I absolutely loved this class.

Since I have my own step and my own weights, I try this at home from time to time. I remember enough of the routine to make it worthwhile. I just turn on my digital cable dance music station and get my step groove on.

I got home from work last night and, as I expected, I wanted to work out as much as I wanted to hurl myself from a tall building screaming for Jesus, but I did it. And I felt like a million bucks afterward! Why is it that I can't remember that feeling all the time?

One of these days I am sure that I will crave exercise. I hope so! And I hope that day comes soon!

Not a habit

2006-02-08T07:59:00.000-08:00

So the new trick seemed wonderful on Mon. morning. It's Wed. and Mon. is the only day I actually got my lazy ass up to get to campus to workout. I did shovel the driveway last night, though.

I just don't feel like getting up so early to workout. I used to do it every day and I used to feel so good. I just have to get that feeling back. But to do that requires that I get up!

Perhaps next week is the week I get up. We will see.

Suffice to say, I am doing well otherwise. Still eating well, planning meals, avoiding crap - and not missing it. Way to go!

New Trick

2006-02-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo - 2 more pounds! I am quite excited! Woo Hoo!

My new trick is to workout before I start working. If I leave it until the afternoon before I leave SBU or, worse, until I get home, I am too tired to do anything and find all kinds of excuses not to do anything. I am the queen of justification.

So I picked today - the day of a blizzard - to get up, put on my workout wear, drive to SBU with my bag packed with work clothes, and hit the Richter Center. Because of the snow I arrived later than I expected, but I arrived!

And I hit the indoor track. It was fabulous! I was able to look out at the snow gusting all around the building and here I was, safe, warm inside the center.

I am quite tired about an hour later, but I did it. And when I get home I don't have to worry about saving time to workout. I already did it. So instead I can save time to sit my lazy ass on my couch and pick my ass. Or watch reruns of the Golden Girls.

Feeling Great

2006-02-04T09:59:00.000-08:00

I wondered how long it would be before I started to feel good. The reason I was so upset and interested in getting back into shape is that I gained more weight and weighed more than I ever had. I blamed my boyfriend for getting me fat, dumb and happy. I told him I wanted fit, dumb and happy.

I have been so good about portion sizes, working out, food choices. I feel wonderful!

The size 16 jeans I had to buy this season are now baggy. BAGGY! I don't regret the investment, though. I haven't busted out the size 14s yet. I want to wait a couple weeks. I should invest in a belt. I can get a little more mileage out of the 16s yet.

I find myself with more energy, a more positive attitude, and a general like for my body even though I have a long way to go!

I was looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog for inspiration. I have no interest whatsoever in looking like these unhealthy models (they can verbally abuse me here for insulting them). I want to buy a bikini! Or a sexy top to show up my sculpted arms. And a nice pair of something or other to highlight my legs.

I love that I am muscular. I love that I have large legs that carry me anywhere I choose to go. I love that my arms can lift my house. I love that I have a strong core - getting stronger by the day.

I feel great and have no interest in backing down.

I also find that I have no interest in my former cravings. Potato chips don't hold the same appeal. Cakes, cookies, etc. don't hold the same appeal. Now I want some fruit for dessert. Who knew?

Richter Center at SBU

2006-02-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

I am a professor at St. Bonaventure University. They recently opened this state-of-the-art recreation facility on campus, thanks to the generosity of the Richter family. To say that I am impressed with this fitness center is an understatement. It is a wonderful facility.

And it's busy.

I remember being an undergrad. at SBU. We had a fitness center but it was off campus and not at all convenient. I would go once a year to make an effort and then stop. Of course, that was when fitness wasn't so interesting to college students.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a full Richter Center the other day. Students were everywhere on all kinds of equipment. And most of them didn't seem to care what they looked like. That is a huge test of a fitness center for me. Are people there to show off and look good, or to actually workout. And I think students actually wanted to workout.

I do get a bit discouraged because I didn't see a single faculty member or other SBU employees. I stood out like a sore thumb, in my mind. I imagined that students were wondering who I was, why was I at the fitness center because I am not a student and I am old (older than them)!

I am sure they could have cared less. I still enjoy it. And will return. When I feel motivated. I've already been twice which is better than my undergrad. streak.

There are numbers beyond weight

2006-01-30T06:37:00.000-08:00

I have been frustrated recently because I have been doing all the right things - eating well, working out, relaxing. OK, maybe not relaxing. But I have been eating well and working out. So why, then, does my scale not move for a week? How is that possible?

Guess what - the scale isn't the only number to think about.

Since I started my weight loss journey (and to paraphrase Mark Twain who said quitting isn't difficult, I've done it many times - losing weight isn't difficult, I've done it many times) I have kept track of my measurements - bust, waist, hips, thigh, biceps. I track the measurements once each month. I have lost 9 pounds since starting Jan. 2. That's awesome! I have also lost a couple inches in most places. A couple inches off my waist and hips, one from my bust, half an inch from my thigh and biceps. That was wonderful news!

So now I can stop obsessing about the damn scale. It isn't the only measure. Thank God!

Obsessed with the Scale

2006-01-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

I think one of my problems is that I am completely obsessed with my scale. I know that the key to sustained weight loss is to just lose 1-2 pounds per week. I don't know why I feel the need to get on the scale every morning to see what changes were wrought overnight. I am continually disappointed when I don't see major changes or when - egads - I see a gain!

I have now vowed to not get on the scale until my Mon. weigh-ins. That's it. No more checking mid-week, just to see. Once per week and that's it!

Weight Watchers

2006-01-25T13:38:00.000-08:00

OK, I know it seems a cop out. I should be able to figure out how to lose weight and get in shape without resorting to a regimen. But guess what - I CAN'T! And I am okay admitting that.

This is week number 4 on the online version of Weight Watchers and I have lost 9 pounds. I am quite excited about that. What is unfortunate is that since I started dating Jamie, I gained 25 pounds. That's a full 10 pounds over my heaviest weight yet! I love him - in fact I tell him I'm fat, dumb and happy - soon to be fit, dumb and happy. I just want to fit into pants that don't have elastic waists. I want to button pants and be able to breath, sit, walk, etc. Soon. Very soon.

I also started my new job at St. Bonaventure University. I love that they have this awesome new fitness center - the Richter Center. In fact, I set off the emergency exit alarm yesterday. Hey - I have to make my presence known. This center offers everything you need to get and stay in shape - and I get to use it free! Now I have no excuse. I bring lunch to work with me, I have access to the best fitness center, I want to be fit.

Check back for more information on my progress. I will post pitfalls, tips, triumphs. All of it will be here. And - the original purpose for this blog was to document my marathon training. With any luck, I will be back in the saddle (so to speak) by summer and in training again!

Getting Back into it

2005-09-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

This blog started to document my marathon training. Since I had to abandon that to get some freaking work done, I have since thought that I can use this blog to document my weight loss. FOOSA is my Fat Out Of Shape Ass. And I would like to lose it.

I was at a show this weekend when I realized that when I look down, I see my boobies and my belly. They are virtually even and I don't like it! In fact, it disturbs me. I would like to look down and see boobies and no belly.

Also, this weekend, I realized how tight my clothes are becoming. And now I sit here typing this with back pain. So I am once again on the roller coaster that is my wieght loss/fitness journey. perhaps it will take this time.

Marathon Postponed

2005-08-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

For more information on what's happening in my life, check out my other blog - TippyKayak. Since I now have much too much on my plate, I am postponing my marathon training until at least next year. Thank you to everyone for your support. I certainly appreciate it.

I do want to keep this blog alive, so I thought I would document my weight loss instead. I am still trying to lose about 30 pounds so I can certainly let you know how that's going.

For now - gotta get to work on my dissertation.

6 Miles

2005-07-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

Each week is now "personal record week". Since I am fairly new to running since I have never gotten very far with it, each time I run seems like I am setting personal records. I had never run more than a 5K before. When I ran 4 miles, it was a record. Last week when I went 5.3, it was a record.

Yesterday was another record. 6 miles.

I have to write about them the next day because that's when I truly feel it.

I had been with a friend of mine on Friday. She was planting a garden yesterday in memory of a good friend/family member. I told her I wouldn't be able to join her because I was running. She mentioned that is where her friend would rather be. Her friend was a runner. Loved it and was damn good at it. I remember several Corporate Challenges before she died. She would completely look the part in the running shorts (my thighs still rub together too much for me to wear running shorts so I wear spandex) and her running shirt with sports bra. She would return to the corporate tent afterward not even looking as though she broke a sweat. That is a complete change from what I experience.

At any rate, I told my friend that I would think of her friend while I was running.

And I did.

The first mile seemed much harder than previous miles. In fact I was worried that since it was so difficult, the last 5 would be impossible.

Mile 2 and 3, also difficult. We usually had a water break at mile 2 but yesterday they moved it to mile 3. I didn't know what to do! I thought, good lord, I need my water at mile 2. I thought I would break the 6 miles into three 2 mile pieces, with water after each 2 miles. But the coaches had a different idea and I have to follow along.

I think I thought of my friend's friend at about mile 2.7. There is a lovely little wooden bridge that crosses some creek or another. It is quite beautiful. I don't quite remember what I thought but I remember that it made me smile. I also wouldn't say it motivated me to continue, per se. But the fact that I smiled is enough.

When you feel as though you are killing yourself, if you can crack a smile, something is working in your favor. If you keep going, that's worth the effort.

Today I am limping around - more for sympathy than anything else (I am a Leo and fond of dramatics) - because my thighs are screaming for me never to run again. I will shut them up tomorrow when I run 2.5 miles with ease (it better be with ease after 6).

And I will do yoga later to make them feel a bit better.

After the water stop at mile 3, we turned around. The countdown is much easier for me. And I seem to get a second wind. It's as if the first half is a warm up and the second is just because I can. At mile 3.5 I felt pretty good and thought I could have kept going.

When I finished 6 miles, I thought, I think I could keep running if I had to. Thankfully I didn't have to.

Until next week. When it's 7. I better smile more than once. Thanks D.

My Personal Best

2005-07-02T16:19:00.000-07:00

WOW! Whoever would have thought that I would be running 5 miles. And not just 5 miles, but 5.3 miles. In one day - all at one time.

This past week I skipped my Tuesday workout. I don't know why Tuesdays are so difficult for me. I work at the Downtown Country Market. I love it. But when I'm finished I don't want to run. And I usually plan things directly afterward which doesn't leave me much time to run.

I ended up just moving the workouts so Wed. I ran 3 miles, Thurs, 2, and Friday - 3 miles.

Friday is another story. I thought I would be clever and wear these shorts that would be looser on me. Turns out they rode up and I ended up chaffing because my thighs are not as small as they could be. Horribly uncomfortable. Didn't run 3 miles but ran 2.5 and walked .5. That's fine because Saturday....

Saturday was five miles. I was nervous because I had never run more than 3.5 miles in one setting. What if I couldn't? Then I remembered that I can do anything I set my mind to. The weather also cooperated. Wonderfully sunny, breezy, cool day. It could not have been more then 75 degrees which, given our recent heatwave, means we should have broken out the moon boots and parkas.

So I ran - consistently the entire way. Then as we were approaching the 2.5 mile mark, we couldn't find the marker! Those bastards colored the white marker black so we couldn't see it (I am sure that was not their motivation, but it felt like it at that point). By the time others realized it, they had run 2.7. I run slower so I only ran 2.65. So technically I ran about 5.3 miles or so.

And I felt good.

In fact, our team mentor was out taking pictures after the 2 mile mark and I smiled. I think I even giggled. I actually thought, hey, you're getting your picture taken, strike a pose, look like a runner, stand tall and sassy! Now, before training I would have looked like some kind of freak struggling to breath and stand upright gasping for breath with drool running down her chin - too tired to wipe it.

Then I got home and realized my legs were more like jello than anything and had to relax while my boyfriend changed the brakes in my vehicle. Not that I would be any help in that regard.

I am now looking forward to my runs. I have a day off tomorrow and plan to do yoga because that's an awesome low impact workout that will stretch my muscles. Muscles that are getting more supple and toned each day! And then I have to run 2 miles on Monday.

WHAT? Only two miles?

It is too damn hot to do this!

2005-06-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I am starting to second guess my decision because I now understand what it means to train during the summer. It is blessed miserable. It is too hot to run during the day without either getting sunburned or dying from dehydration. I am not particularly fond of either. One is much too painful, the other is just so final.

So I decided to have an early dinner and hit the road at about 9 p.m. after the sun had started to go down. This way it is cooler out and the sun isn't beating on me. Besides, I only have to run two miles. That should be a piece of cake.

And I was surprised that it was. I was getting annoyed that I was constantly wiping sweat off my face. I cannot stand to have sweat dripping off my face. I also hate when it gets in my eyes. Yuck.

But two miles. No problem. In fact, if I had to run longer today, I could have done it without an issue. I was surprised that I finished and could stop. In the past when I just ran for no apparent reason but to torture myself, I would run until I pretty much couldn't run anymore. Now I have a plan. I like having a plan.

Tomorrow I have to punch out 3 miles. I wonder if it will be cooler. I think thunderstorms are predicted. Not sure if it is safe to run in thunderstorms. My better judgement says - no. We will see.

If I do three as well as I did two today, the five I have to do on Saturday should be a piece of cake!

The best part of the run in heat like this? The cold shower afterward. Never has a cold shower felt so wonderful!

Happy trails!

First Long Run

2005-06-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

I am thinking that at my first long run, I won't be in such poor shape. We only have to run 4 miles and I have run 3 already this week so what's another mile?

Turns out, that other mile is the difference between slight discomfort and extreme nausea.

We started our run at 8 a.m. thinking we would beat the heat. Not so, my friends. It was already sweltering when we arrived at the bike path prompting our coach to declare that we are to run at 7 a.m. for the rest of our summer long runs. EGAD! Thank god I don't have a Friday night social life anymore as I did in my youth.

Our coach tells us that we have to sign in and sign out each week to make sure we are all accounted for. Presumably, if I don't sign out, they will send a search party for me on the bike path. They will likely find me curled up all fetal in a ditch praying for an end to the suffering while I try to find my happy place with Sven in a loin cloth feeding me grapes and fanning me with a palm frond, but I digress. (sorry J)

He also tells us that we will likely find others who run at our pace and they will be our buddies, so to speak. I did find others who worked at my pace but it is a rather pathetic retelling.

I run slowly. Very slowly. I will finish, but it won't be breaking any records. There was a group of girls who I think were new to running - which I applaud. Well, they ran/walked the 4 miles and for the first 2 we would pass each other. When they were walking, I would run past, when they ran, they would run past me. It was sort of odd. The coach did say that I was running at a consistent pace which is better than an alternative (which I think would be standing still).

I did find a buddy who runs a bit faster than I. She is pretty cool and she keeps things in perspective. She was a bit upset that I described my time as pathetic. She said, it is what it is. You are running, that's better than nothing. Already I have someone who is motivating me. She's cool and she does well. With any luck, I will be able to train so that I can keep up with her. I can see myself being motivated by her during the marathon. Perhaps I can return the favor at some point.

That would be nice.

Official Training

2005-06-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

I think I have officially started training about 400 times but this time it's really official. After receiving my packet, I also received my official first month training schedule. It began this past Monday.

I had to run 2 miles on Monday which is no problem for me. I am only concerned that I don't run fast enough to finish this marathon this century. But I ran two miles and felt good.

I was supposed to run 2.5 miles on Tuesday. I don't often run on consecutive days because I have never had a reason to, truthfully. So this is a test that I promptly neglected. Hell, if I am going to slack, better I do it right from the get go. So I don't run the 2.5 because my day was too full of work and meetings. A poor excuse, I realize, but I'm using that excuse!

Wednesday I am to run another 2 miles and I tackle that without any trouble. I am ready to begin.

Thursday I am to run 3 miles and am a bit afraid. I attend our kick-off meeting for more information and fundraising supplies. And motivation. I am thrilled to be a part of this team. I am sitting at a table with other girls who are afraid of the program because the most they have run is 10 miles and 13 miles. I don't want to say that the farthest I have gone is 3.5 miles but hell, if they can train me, they can train anyone.

I promptly go home and run the 3 miles. Then I sit on the couch and bemoan the pain I will surely be in on Friday.

Friday is here and I am supposed to rest but I feel so bad about skipping Tuesday that I plan to run 2.5 miles today to make up for it. Then tomorrow morning I have to run 4 miles with the team. I hope they don't kick me off!

We do have our fundraising packets and kits. There are so many ways to help, some of which I will outline here!

Please go to my online web donation site and consider supporting me in this incredible endeavor. It is very easy to use and the donations are secure.

If you don't feel comfortable with that, please let me know. I will be sending sponsorship forms via mail. These cards allow you to send a check or use your credit card to sponsor me. All correspondence is sent to the Leukemia and Lymphoma office.

Book a Tarot Card reading party and/or Aromatherapy party. I will come to your home and read tarot cards ($25 per reading per person) and/or host an aromatherapy party featuring my products - Wild Mountain Organics. Proceeds from each will be used for my fundraising goal. So it's tax deductible!

I have rubber/plastic bracelets for sale. They are purple and read Train Endure Achieve Matter (TEAM - get it?). They are a knock-off of the Lance Armstrong Live Strong yellow bracelet. I am selling them for $3 each - $2 of the sale goes to my training.

If you have a business or know someone who does, I have spare change buckets. These buckets have the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society logo and phone number on them so they are official. Please consider placing one in your shop/office. Let me know.

Forward the link to this blog or my donation site to everyone you know. I certainly appreciate a good deed. I am running this marathon for all survivors and those not yet diagnosed as much as I am for myself.

I will have more information in the future about my training and about the Society. I will highlight my honored patient (after she completes the paperwork - HIPAA, you know). Don't want to invade privacy.

Thank you for your support! I hope you enjoy my training diary.

I have my Packet

2005-06-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't done this before, after you sign up to run the marathon or participate in another endurance event, you receive a packet of information from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society outlining all the rules, training, fundraising, etc. I got my packet on Saturday and was thrilled!

I was further delighted to learn that not only could I get started with my fundraising efforts by crafting a rather witty and charity-provoking letter to send via snail-mail, but we also have the ability to solicit donations online!

Praise Jesus, Hallelujah, and Kumbaya! We wanted this last year because it makes things so much easier, but they didn't have it available. Now the possibilities are endless! I imagine random people surfing the internet and coming upon this blog. Then they will say, my, isn't this a wonderful project and an amazing cause, and isn't she a great writer. I have cash that I don't know quite know what to do with so I will put it here.

To access my personal fundraising page, please click
here. Also, I will provide the link to the right so you will always have it at the ready!

I want to thank everyone in advance for all of your support. I have the best network of family and friends.

Also, now is the time to start thinking about hosting a tarot or aromatherapy party! Let me know via email or phone. Or just comment on this blog.

Training

2005-06-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

It is hotter than a witch's boob in a brass bra in Phoenix in July. By that I mean, it is hot!

I did go for a couple runs this past week and they felt good. The first time I went to the Alden High School track well after hours so as not to disturb any track and field training. I did 2 miles and felt awesome. I could probably have kept on running, but I thought about all the things I had to do at home and so I left.

The second run I took after taking my mom to get her truck from the repair shop. I took advantage of being out and about and went for a run on the Clarence Bike Path. It is a shortish path but very picturesque. It is also quiet! I ran without my headset so that I could hear any noises should I be followed. I also carried my keys with me and had them at the ready should I be jumped or something. I try to practice running safely. I try to do most things safely.

That was beautiful. It wasn't too hot but the sun was out. The grass and trees were completely green. The wild flowers were in bloom. The forest critters were out in full force. I even saw several dragonflies. It was an all around good experience.

After both runs I felt rejuvenated and ready to continue. Now I just have to get through the hot summer. Perhaps I will have to run at the crack of dawn or at sunset. Wonderful.

Weekend "Training"

2005-05-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend, as we all know, was Memorial Day Weekend. This weekend, instead of train for the run, I thought I would train for the post-run party.

Friday I ate and drank.
Saturday I ate (I couldn't drink because the thought of drinking made me sick).
Sunday I ate (same comments as above).
Monday I ate and drank. I guess I was ok to drink.

Tuesday is wonderful here. The sun is out, it is warm, everything is still green. I will have to run today. Besides, I painted my toe and finger nails. Don't ask me why, but it always makes me feel good and makes me want to get outside to do stuff when I have pampered myself in this way.

I am starting to regret falling off the wagon already, but I am back. And ready. Gotta go eat.

To power my run.

First Run As a Trainee

2005-05-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

I know my post ended ubruptly yesterday so I could go for a run but that was not to be. Instead I decided to get more work done and meet a friend for dinner. We had planned the dinner so it wasn't a surprise, I just didn't plan my day well enough to sneak the run in.

We ate Greek which can be relatively good for you. Dessert, on the other hand, is not. Why do I run? Is it for the kids? Is it to increase cardiovascular fitness? Is it to raise money for a worthy cause? Is it to test the limitations or not of my body?

I train so that I can call dessert "training food". Let's be honest.

That's half true. I do train so that I can add points to my unsanctioned Weight Watchers tracking system I seem to work well with. That allows me to eat dessert and other assorted goodies including potato chips, wine (more than the recommended daily glass of red wine), extra helpings, etc.

I also train because I want to test my limitations. At present, I haven't set any limitations so the sky's the limit. I prefer no ceiling at all so that I can just keep right on going and going beyond my wildest expectations.

I train so that I benefit a worthy cause (and the kids). The TNT program is top notch and does benefit many people including several friends of mine. I am thankful for that.

I do train to increase cardiovascular fitness. I like that I am extending my life. I like that I don't get winded walking down the street or up the stairs. I like that I am healthy.

So this is my roundabout explanation for not running yesterday. Instead, I ran today.

Today was an amazing day in Western New York. Warm, sunny, beautiful. I ran for 30 minutes and then walked for 30 and felt outstanding! I could probably have kept going but I had to do some work before a late lunch engagement (it always comes back to the food). I didn't feel as guilty about not running yesterday. Today was a good day.

I also run so that I may get ideas. I have solved many problems working out - running, biking, hiking, kayaking, etc. If I have writer's block or am stuck on ideas/problems, I work out. The solution presents itself nicely.

This also works with the bathroom. Don't even ask me to explain that because I can't. But if I have a problem, a nice visit to the bathroom with a magazine seems to bring a solution to the fold. But that has nothing to do with training. Just a distgusting aside.

So I ran. And I thought about the race. I probably ran about 2.5 miles and walked another 2. It felt good. And I may do it again tomorrow. And I may follow the run with a wonderful yoga session. Because tomorrow a friend is visiting and I plan to "train" hard!

It Is Official

2005-05-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

I have officially completed the application form and placed the stamp on the envelope. It is off to the Western New York Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphona Society. I should be registered for the Marine Corp Marathon in a day or so. What does this mean for those reading this:

I want your money!

I want your time!

I want your family and friends!

I want your first born child!

I want your money: I shouldn't be so rude. I would love your donation for this wonderful cause. For those who aren't familiar with the endurance training/fundraising program and haven't clicked on the link to the right, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team In Training is the first and largest endurance/fundraising training program. It's team of volunteer professionals train us poor bastards to run a marathon (that's 26.2 miles for those not in the know). In return for the bodily abuse, we raise funds to support education, treatment, and a host of other things for the Society.

I want your time: Many of you remember that last year I did the Century Ride for the Society. Part of my fundraising included Tarot card reading parties. I would love to entertain again. If you are interested in hosting a Tarot card reading party, please let me know. Who is the reader? I am. And I'm good. Readings are $25 with $15 going to the Society. For more information, please view my Tarot blog - TippyTarot.

NEW THIS YEAR! My sister, Pam, and I purchased an organic/natural body care company - Wild Mountain Organics. I will do an aromatherapy party for you instead (or in addition to) Tarot reading. A portion of the proceeds of the sale of Wild Mountain Organics will be donated to the Society (Pam - I haven't shared that with you yet). Do you want me to read your fortune or pamper you, or both? You decide. Book now - good dates will go fast! (Not really, but the marketing professional in me tells me I should write that.)

I want your family and friends: This is really a continuation of the above but a small bulleted list would have looked foolish. I want you to invite your family and friends for a night of entertaining and pampering!

I want your first born child: This point was to see if you were paying attention. I know all of you - you can keep your first born (kidding!).

What should you know:

I need to figure out how to run 26.2 miles by October 30, 2005.

I need to raise $2,600 by October 14, 2005.

I need to raise $1,300 by August 12, 2005. Ideally, I would love to raise it all by then so that I can concentrate on training, but I digress.

I will be celebrating the 22nd anniversary of my 14th birthday on August 9, 2005.

I need your help! In the next few weeks I will be sending my fundraising letters along with information on how you can help. I will also be doing some different things this time around:

I will be keeping track of my progress - fundraising and training - using this blog.

Anyone who donates $50 or more will have a link put on my blog (to the right) to their website/blog/whatever. This is primarily for businesses, but could be for anyone!

Anyone who donates $100 or more will have a link to the right and will have a blog post dedicated to them or their business - approved by them first, of course.

Anyone who donates $150 or more will have all of the above and will have their/business name written on my race t-shirt.

Anyone who donates more than that will be thanked until the cows come home - in addition to the above.

In the spirit of training, I have to go out for a run right now. I will continue to outline what is going on in the next few posts. Please forward this to anyone you think may be interested. Please also consider a party of one kind or another!

A Recap....And...Am I on Crack?

2005-05-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

My interest in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team In Training (TNT) program began over a year ago. I thought I would test my physical limits by challenging my body to a century ride - 100 mile bike ride. Lake Tahoe seemed beautiful enough. I would try it there.

Suffice to say I damn near killed myself. But, like many things, you forget the pain and think about the rewards:

I may have saved someone's life.

I improved myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I rode 100 miles at a high elevation (compared to Buffalo, New York) and over hills. Many, many hills.

For more on my Lake Tahoe TNT adventure, please click here. This will direct you to my site which profiled my journey.

Onward!

That goal accomplished, I thought, why not try a marathon? That's what logical people do, isn't it? After they've abused their bodies with one activity, they wholeheartedly try another!

And here I am. At the juncture of signing the paperwork that will make it official - a marathon runner, a participant, a fundraiser, a crack-smoker. I don't know if I will make it - the running or the fundraising - but I am on board! I am committing myself to raising $2600 for Leukemia and Lymphoma research and education in my area.

I will further document my training and my progress here. Many of you will be referred to this blog because you received a postcard/letter from me begging for money - AGAIN! Others may stumble on it accidently. However you arrive you, thank you for getting this far. I appreciate all of your help on this journey. I will keep you abreast of my progress.

Wish me luck.

Oh, and if you have any spare change....