Alas, I will try next year....

Hello,
It has been quite some time since I posted anything about my training. Let me explain why....

I struggled with a pinched nerve in my left foot. That settled down and I was pain free.

Then I hurt the hell out of my right foot. It was so bad, it was suspected that I had a stress fracture. After a nuclear diagnostic bone scan, it was decided I did not have a stress fracture. It must be a very bad case of tendinitis.

Then that cleared up and I was able to run.

Hooray!

Then the abdominal pain. This was completely unrelated to running. God only knows why now it decided to be a problem.

The abdominal pain sent me to the emergency room via ambulance. After a CT scan and fabulous pain meds, it was decided that I had a bowel obstruction that required emergency surgery.

About 27 staples and an 8" surgical incision later, it was decided that the only place I am running to is the loo.

The good news is that any funds that I have raised thus far may be transferred to the race next year. And I have every intention of running this race next year.

I ran 12 miles. That was the farthest I had gotten. And that is the most I have ever run. It felt good.

I was told by my surgeon that I am not to run until November 3. I cannot do any sort of ab work until Thanksgiving. I am counting the days.

Tomorrow is three weeks since surgery.

Sunday is the day I am supposed to be running the marathon.

There must be some reason I was not meant to run this year. But I will not give up. I will begin training the minute I can run again.

Perhaps I can train for the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot in Buffalo.

I am injured!

I suppose it had to happen. All of my good luck had to come to an end.

Okay, so I don't believe in good luck.

All of my hard work was paying off.

And then it happened.

I injured myself.

It happened three weeks ago. I was so upset I didn't blog. I know, that defeats the purpose of a blog, in many ways. I don't care. It's my blog and I'll blog or not blog if I want to. And I will bitch or not bitch if I want to. And you will read or not read if you want to. (But I would like you to continue reading.)

I thought it would be a nice change of scenery. I had several meetings on the St. Bonaventure University campus. I thought it would be nice to run on the Allegheny River Trail. This trail is so incredibly scenic - snaking its way alongside the Allegheny River. I love water and love to run near it.

I got to mile 1.5 and felt something off in my heel. At first I thought it was a muscle pull that I could run through. Um, no. I then thought I could walk it off. I walked up to the two mile marker and then turned around. Tried to run and failed. I limped the two miles back to my car.

I got in touch with our coaches and our trainer. I tried to run on it the next day and failed. Then I was to rest it. I missed the 10 mile long run.

Then I missed the 12 mile run and another 10 mile long run.

And many runs in between.

I would try to run while and would get to one mile. Sometimes, on really good days, I would get to three miles. I couldn't break the three mile barrier. I was getting frustrated.

It made me more frustrated when two different podiatrists told me they didn't think anything was wrong and that I could run on it. One thought it was a pinched nerve. Another thought I could work through it. I return to my regular podiatrist in a few weeks for a follow up. Perhaps I need new orthotics.

Perhaps I need a lobotomy.

What possessed me to think I could do this?

Of course, this isn't the kind of thinking I normally do. I am generally optimistic. But it has been three weeks since I have been able to do any sort of substantial running. Thank God I can ride my bike and do yoga so I have some sort of cross-training to count on. Because this running thing isn't working out so well.

Over the weekend I downloaded the map of the race course. I was thrilled! I will get to run by all the major monuments in DC as well as along the Potomac River. I did notice that if you haven't reached mile 19 by a certain time, you will be asked to get on the straggler bus for transport to the end of the race. I guess they have to open the road. The race pace is a 14 minute mile. I am slow, but I can do better than a 14 minute mile.

When I can run.

Now I am more determined. All of my naysaying and pessimism have been tossed away. I am going to finish this race. And I am not going to ride the straggler bus. And I am going to run through our nation's capital proud that I can run at all. And I am going to see all of the leukemia and lymphoma patients and their families cheering us on and I am going to be prompted to go a little faster so that I finish.

And I will finish.

And then yesterday I ran four miles. A small victory, to be sure, but I broke my three mile barrier.

And today I am going to my yoga class because I miss my fellow yogis. And tomorrow I am going to try to run five miles. Five pain free miles.

And then I am going to the Erie County Fair (booth number 149 in the Agricenter) to sell my lotions and lip balms and other products.

And I am going to sweat my breasts right off my chest.

I am going to go faster if it kills me....

Today I have to run three miles. And I am determined to go faster if it kills me.

I figure I can start to pick up the pace on the shorter runs. They won't hurt me.

I run the first mile in 11 minutes 45 seconds. For those keeping track, that's a record for me. Yes, it's still slow, but it's a personal best, so bite me.

I run the second mile in 12 minutes. That's pretty damn good.

The third mile in 12 minutes, 45 seconds. That means that I ran about an average of 12 minutes a mile for the three mile duration.

That's the best I've done! I am so proud of me!

Of course, when I finished, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

But I did it!

And I also sent my checks off to be counted! Thank you again to everyone who has supported me so far!

The injuries are starting....

I call them injuries, but they are really minor problems. I had to ice my foot yesterday because I felt plantar fasciitis returning. If anyone has ever had this problem, you know you want to nip it in the bud toot sweet. It hurts like a mother........ if left unchecked.

I also have two blisters, one on each foot. I pop those, as instructed. But they still hurt.

Thank God I get to rest today. And rest I do.

Oh Boy!

Eight miles truly kicked my ass. It was such a perfect day for a run. It was cool, there was dew on the ground, and there were enough slugs/snails on the running trail to serve as a parade of sorts. A parade to remind me how pitifully slow I run.

I think there were points in the run in which it could not be said I was running. But I managed to pass all of the snails! Go me!

I also passed two dead snakes and two dead toads/frogs. Oh boy, am I on a roll!

At about the one mile to go mark, I was greeted by one of our coaches. She had been running with another group (a faster group) and wanted to come back to help me get back. We talked while I ran....

...And she walked.

That's right. I was upset when Ellen walked beside me for that brief moment. But I didn't seem to care that Katie was walking next to me. Truth be told, she was not sauntering. She was walking at a pretty good clip, as walking goes. But she was walking.

And I was so damn tired, I just wanted that last mile to end. I did pick it up for the last tenth. For some reason I always find some energy in my reserves. God only knows how.

Katie did keep reassuring me that I was doing fine. I shouldn't worry about running slowly, etc. Thank you for that!

What am I going to do when I have to run ten miles next week?

Rest Day

Thank you to my mom for supporting my cause.

And thank you for this rest day.

I am nervous about running eight miles tomorrow. The seven miles I ran last week represented the longest distance I have ever run. That will grow each week now.

Eight miles. I hope I can do it.

My first tarot card fundraising party.

Yesterday three miles was no big deal.

Today it was.

What gives?

I hope not my legs or my feet or my knees.

My good friend, Peg Schwenk, agreed to host a tarot card fundraising party for me. Thank you to Peg! It was an incredible success. I enjoy reading cards and freaking people the hell out. And I am thankful I am able to parlay that ability into money for my cause!

I also received a call from a regular Wild Mountain Organics customer. She wanted to reorder some products. When I mentioned that I was participating in a tarot card reading fundraiser, she wanted to know if I could add one more to the evening. When I said yes, she was thrilled and I added more money to my fundraising coffer! Thank you Cindy!

More support!

Thank you to Rose Carter for adding to my fundraising tally! I am getting closer and closer!

And three miles today is no big deal.

Isn't that funny. Three miles used to be my long run. Now it's no big deal.

Woo hoo!

I need my schedule back

Our flight from Kelowna was delayed because the plane was struck by lightening enroute to Kelowna. They had to inspect it.

And then we got on the same plane and flew to Calgary and then to Hamilton.

And we arrived.

2.5 hours late.

We didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning.

Needless to say, I wasn't about to get up at 7 or 8 to run. I ran when I got up.

And today was a long one. Five miles.

I have carefully marked several running options. I cannot run on the same path all the time. I need to jazz things up. Toss things about.

But my markers are things that may be temporary. For Sale signs on houses. God help me if my house markers sell before October and I don't notice the Sold signs. I might be running forever and not notice it!

Five miles did kick my ass a bit today. I managed to get through and then had to invoke my mantra "you can do anything for a mile." In fact, I think I had to "do anything for two miles."

I went through my mail and noticed that I have another supporter! Thank you to Shanon and Jeff Castiglione! You are helping me to get closer to my fundraising goal!

Packing up

People are leaving from the weekend party. We are leaving this afternoon, but not before I run three miles/five kilometers.

I made sure to get the next week's schedule before I left so that I didn't miss a day of training.

And I love this bike path.

I get another early start - not 6 a.m., but 7. It is already warm outside. I find myself hoping it is still cool at home. I know our summers can be pretty horrific in terms of heat and humidity, but this was a shock. We have had an unseasonably cool/wet summer so far - I am not complaining - and coming to the furnace of BC tossed be about a bit.

I take in every portion of the bike path. The cover of cottonwood seeds that looks like fluffy snow. The sound of the water rushing down the creek to the lake. The other users of the path. The birds. The plants. I am going to miss it. But I can certainly return to visit my sister.

Three miles didn't seem too bad today. I enjoyed my time in British Columbia, but look forward to returning to my regular stomping grounds.

And then she rested.

I have never been so happy for a rest day.

I was able to enjoy the wedding festivities yesterday and enjoy the evening.

Now I am at peace and relaxing.

On a boat, in the lake.

Sweet Lord, this is early.

5:30 a.m. That's what time I got up to get ready to make my way to the Mission Creek Bike Path.

What the hell was I thinking drinking too much on Thursday night and saving this run for today?

I wasn't thinking. And therein lies my problem.

Just over 11 km is a long damn way.

Thank God for the spectacular scenery.

No one is on the path at 6 a.m. There are a few by 6:30 and even more by 7. But 6 is pretty desolate. It made me worry just a bit. I know few people in town and anyone could have been hiding in the woods or the creek (creek monster?).

People with big dogs are on the path. Big dogs that from a distance look like small bears. I had to muster all of my courage and stamina to remember what to do should I encounter a bear:

• Do I run scared and screaming hoping it will be more scared of me than I of it? No, that's not a solution.
• Do I run in a zigzag? No, I think you do that for large reptiles like crocs and gators. Although I did hear that was a misnomer. Run straight for crocs and gators. You will outrun them. You are screwed if you are in the water with them.
• Do I stand my ground and stare the bear down? Perhaps. And then I will piss all over my sweaty running shorts. Does urine attract bears? I don't know.
• Do I fall to the ground and play dead? I think this is one answer depending on the bear (Now I have to remember how to identify bears? Jesus, isn't running 11 km enough for one day?).
• Do I climb a tree? None of the trees in the area was really a climbing tree.

Of course, I go through all of this twice. Once for a large black dog. A damn ugly dog at that. And once for a large white dog. Because, you know, a polar bear got loose in the interior of BC.

But I felt prepared should I encounter a bear.

On my return from the 5.5 km mark or so, I see so many more people.

I also have an old man talk to me. I don't know why old men always want to say inappropriate things to me. He was on his bike and saw me run across one of the roads. It was my last kilometer and I was damn tired and probably looked as though I might die. He asked me if I was sweating already. Already? Dude, I've been out here over an hour and a half. Bite me!

Don't drink and run.

Since my sister is getting married tomorrow, I wanted to run this morning since I didn't think it likely that I would want to run the morning of her wedding.

She is getting married at 10 a.m. and that would mean that I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to run. I like running in the morning, but dawn's ass? No thanks.

Turns out when you are excited to see relatives you seldom see and there is wine (remember the Okanagan has some fabulous vineyards), you shouldn't plan to get up to run.

You shouldn't plan to get up.

So I didn't run today. I used it as my rest day, which was what it was supposed to be. But that means I have to run 7 miles (just over 11 km) tomorrow morning before the wedding.

And it means I cannot sample every local wine tonight.

Drat!

I found the best bike path/running trail!

I like that I run in the morning. I beat the heat and get my day off to a good start.

I do not like the heat.

I hate it.

Most people are surprised to hear that it is hot in parts of British Columbia. My sister lives in Kelowna which is in the Okanagan Valley. The Okanagan Valley is home to Okanagan Lake - a vast expanse of water that is quite deep. It is also alleged to be the home of Ogopogo, a Loch Ness monster type of monster. Since the lake is quite deep and large, people assume there must be a monster. Oh, and people have spotted it, I guess.

Did I neglect to mention that the Okanagan Valley is also home to many award-winning vineyards?

Does that help to explain the presence of a lake monster? Perhaps, perhaps not. You be the judge.

I am forced to run 3 miles (5 kilometers or thereabouts - when in Rome) in the middle of the afternoon. Bad idea, but what choice do I have?

I ask at our hotel if there is a marked path or something nearby. The clerk is more than happy to direct me to the Mission Creek Bike Path. The bike path is a 16 km (8 km out and 8 back) packed dirt/stone trail that winds next to Mission Creek. It is well-maintained and beautiful! I feel connected to nature running on this trail.

Not only do I see birds of all sorts, but I see plants and insects that I don't regularly see at home, if at all. The trail does have its share of users. I can see people running, walking, and biking. People have kids and dogs.

And it also abuts some of the best scenery I have seen in ages. I can see past the creek to the mountains in the distance. Jutting up from the landscape, they motivate me to push harder to get to the 2.5 km mark. I almost don't want to turn around. Almost.

I do my share of sweating. That's nothing new. But I do make a note that I want to run in the morning. The morning. It is much too warm in the middle of the day.

Thank God for the shade of the trees along the banks of the river. Rarely was I in the open sun.

We leave today. I hope I keep up.

We leave this evening for Hamilton, Ontario. We are spending the night in order to catch a very early flight to Kelowna, British Columbia. My sister is getting married and we are going.

My run this morning reminds me that I am doing this for an incredible cause. I received an email that reminds me exactly what this means to people. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society frequently sends inspirational emails to motivate us. Many come at just the right time.

This is from that email:

Elli Wolpe, herself a cancer survivor, became part of the LLS family when her husband David was diagnosed with follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma. She is now one of our Team In Training® (TNT) participants. Here is a portion of her speech from the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll Marathon Pasta Party.

I remember reading once that when people tell the story of an event that changed their lives, they often begin with the words: "It was a day that started just like any other day..." The same is true for us.

It was a day that started just like any other day when I got a follow up call after my annual exam. I was 31 and a new mother. And I had cancer. It changed my life forever. But I was one of the lucky ones, it was caught early and I survived.

It was a day like any other day when my husband, David, had a grand mal seizure. We learned it was caused by a brain tumor that was removed in a 10-hour surgery. But he was one of the lucky ones. It was benign and he survived.

It was a day like any other day when, just two a half years later, David found a swollen lymph node that led to the diagnosis of follicular non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

Luckily, the chemo worked and he went into remission. But being in remission is not the same thing as being cured. In January, he got the last of his Rituxan®, a monoclonal antibody that was developed in part by funding from The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Now we play the waiting game. Because incurable means it's coming back. Only we don't know when. All we know is that it will be on a day just like any other day...

Your support for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society matters - to my husband, my daughter, myself... You are changing the world for people like us.

Thank you to everyone who supports me!

I think I have died

I have no idea what on Earth happened today.

No idea.

At mile 2.5, I almost walked. WALKED! I haven't had to walk yet. Why today?

I made myself get through the last two miles. Yes, today my mantra became, 'you can do anything for two miles.'

Actually, that is being family friendly. My mantra was actually, 'WTF? Why is this kicking your ass? You pansy, get your freaking ass moving and get it over with.'

Then I said I could do anything for a mile.

I did not go to yoga today. I thought I should take a break from two workouts on Tuesdays since it took nearly all day to run 4.5 miles (not that dire, but it felt like it).

And my back is bothering me tonight.

I think I may also be nervous because I am going out of town on Thursday morning and my running schedule is going to get screwed up.

My sister is getting married in British Columbia and we are leaving at the crack of dawn on Thursday. I won't be able to run on Thursday until the afternoon. I am not sure about this.

And I have to convert to kilometers. Jesus. Thank God I know how to do that!

And I have to run my long run along the lake in Kelowna. That will be tough. (That's sarcasm.) We will see how it goes.

I do plan to take my computer to have access to things so I should update the blog. Stay tuned.

Another week

This is week four.

I cannot believe I have trained for three weeks and am into week four.

Mileage is increasing, slowly.

Today I had to run 2.5 miles and it felt pretty good. Nothing too unusual.

I am worried about tomorrow. 4.5 miles. I have done 4, 5, and 6 before so 4.5 should be no big deal.

I am not sure why I worry so much.

I did buy a copy of Runner's World. Apparently, I am a runner. I should know what other runners know.

Sarah Palin was in this issue (July or August). And I had just read about her resigning her position as Governor of Alaska. I am guessing she needs more time to run. And by run, I mean on the mean streets of Wasilla, not run for office and such.

Or so I hope.

But life is never that easy.

And on the 7th day, they rested....

I am quite sure I just bastardized the Bible, but I don't really care that damn much. And I don't much believe God created everything in seven days, but I digress.

The point is that on Sunday, I rested.

Truly rested.

Didn't do yoga, didn't clean the house, didn't garden, didn't get off my lazy ass.

And I felt wonderful!

Those rest days have been put on our schedule for a reason.

And I love them!

Happy 4th of July

It's the 4th of July.

But it's also Saturday.

That means it is my long run day. Six miles.

Six miles.

I am nervous about six miles. It seems to far. And truth be told, the last time I did six miles was as far as I ran before I had to drop out. I tried running seven once. Once. It didn't work out so well.

My route has been mapped. Ironically, my route ends right at a house Jamie and I were interested in buying. Unfortunately, we are unable to make any sort of financial move like that right now.

I see that as a good sign - ending at the house, not that we have no money. I am always looking for signs.

The course is also relatively flat.

I want to get an early start so that I am finished and can either sit and relax for the day or curl up and die.

There is not a soul out this morning. The roads are completely empty. I dismiss with running on the sidewalk and run right on the street. I am practically running in the center of my running lane. I feel free! Unhindered in any way.

And my run is spectacular. Yes, I do have to invoke my mantra for the last mile (you can do anything for a mile), but just the last mile. The other five seem to come easily. I am getting the hang of this running thing.

Running this early, I feel unobserved. I don't feel the least bit bothered by staring a bit too long at someone's front garden or other landscaping or other home related coolness.

I also observe my surroundings a bit more closely. When the only sound you hear is the sound of your Shuffle, you turn it down a bit to listen to the world around you. It sounds impossible, but it isn't. Try it on your own Saturday morning when you are running in near seclusion.

I also love my town. A man rides by me on his bike. He seems to want to take advantage of the early morning also.

He is riding a bike that has an attachment in the back for a child rider. I am sure it has a name. Perhaps if I had children, I would know the name. Hell, if I had children, I would probably own one. Let's just call it a tot attachment. It is obviously for a child to pedal along with mom or dad.

The reason I mention it and describe it is because it seemed to be missing its rider. As a self-proclaimed smart ass, part of me wanted to yell, "dude, I think you lost something," or "dude, you better backtrack to get your child." I didn't and thank God because those comments aren't the least bit clever. Honestly, I didn't want to hear my own voice. Or any voice.

He rode in silence and I ran in silence.

I also passed the usual suspects. There is a woman I find inspirational. I know not one damn thing about her other than that she exercises every day. She is also older. If I had to guess I would say she is at least 65 or 70. If she isn't power walking (and doing it faster than I run, I should add), she is cycling. She usually cycles with another woman - a daughter, friend, I have no idea. We always say hello, smile, wave.

It doesn't matter that there is solitude. It doesn't matter that I didn't want to yell at the lone biker. I have to say hello to them. And I said hello and "happy 4th."

Because that's what country folk do on a Saturday morning.

On my run back to the house, the man with the tot attachment passed again. He was still missing his rider.

And I suspect that no matter how much he loves said rider, he was blessing the solitude too.

I don't have to run today!

I woke up and felt relief. I felt relaxed. I do not have to run today! Today is a rest day.

Of course, I did do yoga.

And it felt wonderful.

I think I need yoga to keep me limber and able to run.

I also sent my letters/newsletters to my unsuspecting friends and family. I hope to reach my fundraising goal! Thank you to everyone for supporting me.

It's raining snails and slugs!

Not really, but there sure are an inordinate number of snails and slugs - and I don't mean slow runners like me.

We have had rain every day for a week. I may be exaggerating, but not by much. As a result, the roadways and sidewalks are riddled with snails and slugs. Thank God there aren't worms, which is surprising to me. Snails and slugs are easier to jump over. Not that worms pose some serious roadblock, but they are bigger. Snakes would also get in my way, as would bears and deer, but I am getting off topic.

I woke up this morning and all I heard was pouring rain. I thought that it better clear up a bit before I run or I will be pissed off. I didn't want to wait to run in the afternoon. I like the morning workout.

It did clear up by about 10:30, so I thought I better take advantage of it. Of course, at about mile 1.25 (3 mile run today), it started to rain. Since I don't run fast, I knew I would end up soaked by the end.

But it stopped. It was almost a tease to see how I would react. Well, I took it in stride. At that point, the only thing to do was laugh. What, was I going to get upset because I was going to get soaked to the skin in the rain? There wasn't much I could do considering that I was 1.25 miles from home, so I kept running and laughing.

I had just heard Duran Duran's Hold Back the Rain on my Shuffle. Damn you Simon LeBon!

My first two miles were a bit lagging. I took a route that has an uphill - an actual uphill, not an incline - and it kinda kicked my ass. And I am tired. I think I am still trying to get into a groove. Running four days a week with Friday off and then a long run on Saturday and then Sunday off hasn't settled in yet. I need to settle. When does that happen?

But I did think that if I ran early in the day, I would have more time off before the long run.

Hey, whatever motivation works.

The upside to running in the rain is that it is a perfect excuse to take a bath afterward. And the weather we have been having has been a bit chilly, but still humid. And when it rains, it is cool and damp. Perfect bath weather. If you are reading this thinking, 'oh, finally some juice, she'll tell us about her bath,' think again, pervert. This is a family program!

But I did sit in the tub with my People double issue celebrating the life of Michael Jackson.

If you think it's odd that I sit naked in a tub reading about MJ, don't worry. He wouldn't have been interested in me because I am female and forty. And I wouldn't have been interested in him because, well, really, do you need me to fill in the blanks?

On another note, I talked to one of my neighbor's last night. A package of mine was inadvertently delivered to her house so she brought it over to me. It was very nice of her. Instead of just thanking her and saying 'good-bye,' I started to talk to her and I am glad I did. We went to high school together and were in the same year until she decided to graduate a year early by taking summer classes. So we are the same age, but she graduated a year ahead of me.

We talked about how she was doing, how I was doing. She mentioned that things haven't been going so well for her. I asked if she wanted to elaborate and she told me that her sister had cancer. Her sister - Becky - is a year younger than us. That is damn young to have cancer.

She told me that it should be okay. She has a 90% cure/survival rate. I told her that was good news and that I would keep her in my thoughts. I thought I would pry further by asking what type of cancer.

Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I told her that I was training to run a marathon to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and isn't this a small world. I did ask if it was okay to mention Becky's name in my training blog and so on. She said fine.

Then she said that she didn't know I ran marathons. I had to correct her and say that I don't, as a general rule, but that I wanted to challenge myself. I told her I am not planning to win, but if she sees me running, yell some words of encouragement or get me a stretcher or something.

Then I told her about my upcoming fundraiser at Weber's Grille and asked her to come by. I hope to see her.

And I hope Becky does well. Becky, I ran for you today. While I was in the rain cursing Duran Duran, I did wonder how you are. I did think about the struggle you face every day.

And then running in the rain didn't seem so bad.

And the bath...cleansing, relaxing and rejuvenating.

Get well, Becky!

Oh Boy am I Tired!

Today was a struggle. I had to run only 2.5 miles, but it seemed daunting. It took all my energy to get outside to run. Once I got started, things seemed okay. But just okay.

Of course, last night I went to yoga because I love it. I am thinking that now that mileage is ramping up, I am not going to be able to run and do yoga on the same day. I am bummed because I like the class, but I have made this commitment and need to stick to it. So I will do yoga on rest days.

It won't be with the class, though.

And I find that I am tired after I run and have a hard time getting into the swing of things. I am working from home over the summer, which makes it more difficult to motivate, but I should still be able to get things done. Thank God I can read and call it a job.

On a brighter note, I finished my fundraising "newsletter." I put together a newsletter detailing the Team in Training program and why I am doing this. I mention my work with the group in 2004 when I trained and completed a Century Ride in Lake Tahoe. I also discuss ways in which you may help me reach my fundraising goal. I wanted to attach it, but can't attach a document here. Please visit my personal website to download a copy: http://www.pwhoffmann.com/

As a note, I reference an upcoming fundraiser. If anyone lives in or near Alden, feel free to join us at Weber's Grille on Broadway Wednesday, August 5 from 4-7 p.m. for tarot card readings, Wild Mountain Organics and food!

Hit the road

Hit the road is what I almost did.

Four miles was my run today and it took me forever to get through it. When I finished, I wanted to lay down on the pavement and hug it. But I am not quite sure how to hug a flat surface. And it has been raining so there are worms and slugs everywhere. I don't want to hug them.

I started out rather sluggish. I also have to admit that I was reluctant to start. I kept putting it off because four miles seemed so daunting given that this is the longest I have run during the week on my own. I ran five miles last week with a group and with encouragement. I am not the best motivator, it turns out. Sure, when I have one mile left, I say to myself, 'you can do anything for a mile.'

Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. What would I be doing for a mile? Shopping? Lunging? Shouting? What does one do for a mile other than run or cycle or swim. Okay, I guess there are many things I could do for a mile. So I guess my mantra works.

I will have to expand it to, 'you can do anything for 2 miles, 3 miles, 4 miles, 26.2 miles.'

At least I managed to finish my run before it started raining again. And I am running in the morning before it gets too damn hot. I still sweat as if it's my job. And if it were my job, I would be getting kudos and raises all the time because I am a champ!

I recall that I used to work out in the morning. I would be up at 5:30 to row at the West Side Rowing Club or spinning at the Buffalo Athletic Club. And I loved it! Rowing in the morning when everyone is sleeping is the most sublime experience. And spinning when you aren't even sure you are awake has its benefits. If you do things before you are able to recognize the insanity in it, good things happen.

Like this marathon. I am starting to wonder if I really have lost my mind.....But I signed up before I starting thinking that way. And once I make a commitment, I tend to stick to it.

But I will say this - my thighs look good!

Monday is back

This is week three of training. Week three.

I cannot believe I have made it this far and haven't had any issues. I am not sure why I expected to have issues, but I did. Knock on wood that nothing happens.

Two miles today. And two miles came and went without much incident. I am getting better at this! I feel better, I feel as though I look like a runner and I feel as though I am making progress.

In fact, when I got home, I was quite motivated to get some work done. I have been waiting for that kind of motivation for some time.

So I better get something done before the feeling passes and I want to sit on my lazy ass again.

Ah, summer!

Ah, Sunday

Another rest day.

But I want to do yoga.

So I do.

And I drink wine.

It was a good day.

5 miles

Today is a long run. We run with the group on the Amherst Bike Trail. I have mentioned that I like this trail. It is well marked and relatively flat. There are also all kinds of people on it all the time. I feel safe. Even with all the people, you still find wildlife on the sidelines. Today I saw assorted birds and a woodchuck. It was like running in my backyard. But not.

I started running with one of the walkers. She was running to start and I realized that we run at about the same pace. That made me feel good. A fellow runner. She had to stop to walk, though, so that made me feel even better because it made me feel like a runner.

Ellen, one of our trainer's, ran with me for some time. We talked and realized what a small world it was. We had many acquaintances in common, and it was nice to hear how people were doing. Turns out may of my old colleagues at the Catholic Health System are related or friends of hers in some way. I have been out of touch with many of them, so hearing about them was cool.

I also realized that I don't run and talk very well. I never do it. I run alone. Who the hell am I going to talk to? I don't even sing along to my IPod when I run. That takes energy away from the task at hand. I need focus and discipline to run as slowly as I do. I can't have a distraction like talking.

But it was nice. Before I knew it, I had run a mile. And I think I did it faster than normal. Then I ran two. Then Ellen had to hang behind to make sure others were on the right track and were okay. I was faced with solitude for about a mile. It was rather nice. The day was perfect. The sun was out but it was still too early to be damn hot. The trail ran along Ellicott Creek and I felt quite good running alongside the Creek.

This Saturday was also the day for the Ride for Roswell. It is one of the big fundraisers for Roswell Park Cancer Institute, a premier cancer center right in Buffalo. I did the Ride for Roswell in 2004 fresh off my century ride. Today, I was running next to several riders.

I had missed the elite riders who had set off for the longer mileage ride. Instead, I got families and friends on ten-speeds or cruisers or mountain bikes or bikes with banana seats (still super cool). Many were wearing t-shirts with pictures on them or with names on them. There was a team with yellow t-shirts emblazoned with the face of a young woman. My guess is that she didn't survive her battle with cancer and this group of folks was riding in her honor. See how quick I am to determine that? Do I know that for sure? Of course not, but it doesn't take a genius to reach that conclusion.

I had passed the group as I made my way from mile 2 to 2.5. It wasn't until I was on my way back to mile 2 and back to the start that I passed the group again and started to tear up.

I started to think about the woman whose face was printed on the yellow t-shirts. What was she like? How old was she? What cancer got her in the end? Why are her friends smiling? How are they not crying? I don't know her and I want to cry and hug each one of them.

I started thinking about my own father and the cancer that got him and the fact that he was 42 when he died and I will be 40 in another month or so. Then I realized that I have been alive longer without him in my life than I have been with him in it.

What does that mean? That means that I need to have either a good cry about this or I need to suck it up and finish running the 5 miles that I need to run today.

And I smiled.

And I thought about the folks riding for the yellow woman (it's what I call her now). And I knew why they smiled. They can. And I can. And I can keep running.

I caught up with Ellen with about 1.5 miles to go. I was pumped from the energy of the bike riders. I had this new-found optimism.

Then we came to a mountain in the road.

It was an incline, really, but when you've run nearly 4 miles and you don't really do this, that small incline may as well be Mt. Everest without the annoying oxygen deprivation.

I thought I was still running and Ellen was running beside me talking to me.

Then she stopped to a walk.

But I didn't.

I was still running.

I looked over at her and wanted to scream, "For the love of all things Holy, Ellen, do you want to pretend I am running? Make an effort to run with me even though I have slowed to the pace of a drunk snail? Can you not take what's left of my self esteem and pile it under the rock you just walked past but that I huffed it by?"

She either realized I was running or realized, shit, I've just killed all optimism in this poor woman, and she started to run again.

Then she told me she was hanging back to wait for the others. To make sure they were okay.

I couldn't shake the walking. Every person I saw on the path in front of me was a menace. I had to get by all of the walkers.

There was an elderly gentleman in front of me. He had to be in his seventies. I kept pace with him for a bit until I realized I was running and he was not. So I picked up my pace and passed him. Woo hoo! A small victory!

Then there was another group of old folks, three in total, I think. They too had to fall to my running prowess. I passed them also. Yes, another victory!

Then I was pooped. That drained me. But I couldn't slow down. I cannot even imagine the personal embarrassment if I was passed by the same seniors I had just ably run by! Arrrggghhh!

After I finished RUNNING, I stretched and talked to some other folks who had hung back after their runs. I like the group dynamic of the Saturday long runs. I think I am even enjoying the talking!

It seems evident that the Amherst Bike Path is where all sorts of TNT alumni go to run on weekends. We met Sheila, a woman who had run eight marathons and a slew of half marathons. Her advice to us was that we follow the schedule. We should do exactly as it says. If it says run two miles, run two miles. Even if you feel better and feel as though you could run more, just run what is on the schedule.

You don't have to tell me twice, Sheila.

Then she told us that she started running when she was 66 and now she's 77. Those are not typos. 66. I hope I am still running when I am 66. Hell, I hope I am still alive when I am 66. But 77? Jesus, I love this woman! What an inspiration. And she is a cancer survivor. I am not sure which cancer, but come on! If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will.

So I had a great day. I was inspired by the riders riding for Roswell and I was inspired by Sheila. I was also inspired by Ellen. Hell, if she hasn't started walking, I might not have passed the senior citizens!

Rest Day

Last week's Friday rest day, I think I did yoga. Today I wanted to do yoga and then I thought, why don't you rest? Why don't you sit on your happy ass and do nothing.

So I did.

And I didn't feel guilty.

And I enjoyed it.

And every time I type the word marathon, I first type marathong and have to edit it.

Why? What do you suppose that means?

I also got a massage today. My therapist told me that I wasn't my normal bundle of tight muscles and whatever I am doing I should keep doing it.

Perhaps this running thing is good for me after all.

On a fundraising note, I spoke with Sharon, the woman who owns our favorite diner - Weber's Grill - across the street from our house. She offered to open the restaurant Wednesday, August 5 for a fundraiser for me. I am going to read tarot cards and sell Wild Mountain Organics and she is going to serve a limited menu. We are both thrilled by this and hope that we can repeat it again in August and September, if things go well. I am going to develop some marketing pieces for her to display in the restaurant. I am also going to talk to the local papers to put a piece in. I think this is cool and different. And I'm excited! Tarot cards I do well.

Why is this painful?!

Three miles shouldn't be bad. I keep saying this over and over. Two miles, three miles, shouldn't be bad.

Then I have to remind myself that while I have run in the past and have run two and three miles, I have never run four days in a row. I like to mix up my workout. Run one day, bike the next, then do yoga, then swim or something. I never run two days in a row.

So why are two and three mile runs killing me? Because I never do them like this. Eventually it will get easier. Hell, it has to or I am in for a whole world of hurt.

Two more miles

I went to yoga last night. Even though I ran three miles yesterday, I needed yoga. I like the energy in the room when the group is doing yoga together. I do enjoy doing yoga in my living room, but it isn't the same.

So that's two workouts in one day. That's a lot.

When I woke up this morning to run two miles - only two miles - I realized that I wanted to run as much as I wanted to shoot myself with a staple gun. But I ran. I am afraid of not sticking to the schedule. I want to make sure I can run this marathon ad sticking to the schedule will ensure I can. Or at least ensure I should. Skipping a workout cannot happen - unless I am injured or dying. Which won't happen because I am following the tried and true schedule. I am a mimic.

But once I got started, two miles didn't seem so bad. Granted, it took me forever, but I did it. I didn't shave any time today. In fact, I don't think I'm as fast as I originally thought. I measured my routes last night on the way to yoga and realized that I was off my a couple of feet. Hey - that couple of feet might not matter now, but it might in the future.

So I stand corrected.

And I run more slowly than I first thought.

Egads.

A Wall Already?

Today was a three mile run. This should be pretty straightforward now. I shoudn't be killing myself for three miles.

Well, I don't know what happened. I ran the first mile and was feeling damn good! In fact, I shaved another five seconds off my mile time (shut up - I still run like the proverbial tortoise).

Then I hit a wall. How could that be? How could I be doing so well and then shit the bed?

I ate breakfast this morning, thinking that would help. Perhaps I should stick with my peach or other piece of fruit and coffee instead of an English muffin with peanut butter. I thought it would help.

I also ran about an hour later than I usually do.

And it is getting warmer outside.

All of these things have conspired against me! Bastards all of you!

That's okay. When I finished - with a horrible time - I felt pretty good. I was tired and hot and sweaty, but I felt pretty good.

Good enough to go to yoga tonight.

And good enough to continue fundraising.

A giant thank to you for supporting me to one of St. Bonaventure's trustees and a wonderful and inspiring woman - Laurie Branch. I need the confidence you willingly give!

I am hitting my stride

Today is only two miles and I expect to polish it off without much problem. In fact, on the shorter runs I hope to shave some time off of my mile. I am not telling you my time on purpose. You will laugh. It is slow. SLOW.

I am fond of running in the morning. I have no excuses. Later in the day I could be tired, the weather could change, I could have a wonderful engagement to attend to. But in the morning, I have nothing but the paper and my coffee. And they can wait.

If I can pick up my pace, they won't have to wait as long.

Two miles felt good today. And I did shave time. I shaved about 15 seconds off the two miles. That doesn't sound like much, but it is a small victory for me and I make it a point to cherish all victories, however small.

Now I am motivated to get some work done today. I plan to set up a Facebook site or invitation or whatever it's called so that I can rally the troops on my Facebook page to support me. I know finances are tough, but I certainly do want to meet my fundraising goal.

I already have two people requesting tarot card parties. And my favorite little diner -Weber's Grill - has offered to put on a tarot party for me after hours. It is very exciting. So if I have a Facebook page, I can send notices to folks.

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

My first long run!

I am running with the Team in Training group today. I am excited.

Until I wake up at 6 a.m. and hear rain beating against the window. It is pouring like a bitch outside. I lay in bed wondering if I should get up. Our run isn't until 7:30 so I do have some time, but it is raining like a bitch. I do not mind running in the rain, but not a downpour. I sweat like a huge sweaty person anyway, so I end up wet when I finish, but I would like to not be wet when I start.

I get up and hope for the best. By about 6:45, the rain had stopped. I am elated! I can run four miles without getting soaked to the skin!

I take a peach and my coffee with me as I drive to meet the group at the Amherst Bike Path. I learned from my three mile run the other day that I need some food. And coffee is a must. The bike path is a wonderful path to run or exercise. It is well marked and maintained. And since they caught the bike path rapist/killer, it is also relatively safe. But I am with the Team in Training group. What could happen?

Everyone seems nervous when I get there. I have the benefit of having started marathon training with Team in Training a few years ago. I didn't finish, but I am no longer nervous. I used to think I was horrible because I don't run fast. In fact, some walkers might pass me. Now I know that each person is different. My strength is that I am steady. I start running slowly and that's how I finish. I am nothing if not consistent.

Lat night I made sure to download motivational music to my IPod shuffle. I wanted to make sure that nothing would prevent me from finishing the four mile run. I remember the last time I did this, I had to walk part of the four mile run. I was determined not to do that today!

And I didn't. I was able to make it through the entire four miles without issue. And no walkers passed me! Of course, I am the slowest of the runners. In fact, one overachieving runner was able to run six miles in the time it took me to run four, but that's okay. We are not the same. And I ran four miles.

I also realize that I like running alone. Other folks like to run and talk. I do not. I like to be lost in my music enjoying the world around me. For instance, while running I saw two deer grazing in the distance near the tree line. It was beautiful and I was able to enjoy it by myself without having commentary from anyone. My own mental commentary was plenty.

Of course, it would be nice if I could run as fast as some others, but it is what it is.

And I finished.

Three Miles

After running two miles yesterday, I thought three today would be okay. I regularly run three miles, when I run, which is not regularly, come to think about it.

I get an early start because it is supposed to rain all day and while I don't mind running in the rain, I would prefer not to run in the rain. I also have an appointment with my hair stylist at 9 a.m. Once I get my hair cut, colored and styled, I won't want to sweat, so I have to run before my appointment.

6:55 a.m. is my start. I am reminded immediately that I am insane. This is God-awful early to be doing anything, let alone running three miles. It is not too early to sip coffee and read the paper. But that won' t help my marathon training.

My usual three mile route takes me up my tree-lined street - very picturesque - and around the corner to the railroad tracks and back. It is tough. Then I remember that I should eat something before I run. Coffee alone won't help me. At least a peach or berries or something.

Later I find out that my brother passed me on his way to work. He asked me if that was me running. He didn't realize it until he had passed. I wanted to ask him how I looked running. Did I look as though I am a runner. Or did I look as though I should be stopped and helped to a cot. Knowing my brother, I am guessing if I looked distressed, he would have stopped to offer assistance. So I must look like a runner.

At least I like to think I do.

Training - Week One

Last night was our Team in Training kick-off party. We were able to get all of the information we might need to help us in our fundraising efforts as well as in our training.

First order of business - run.

Looking at the schedule, I realized that I ran 3 miles on Monday instead of the 2 miles noted. I felt pretty good knowing that I did more than expected. I did not, however, run the 2.5 noted for Tuesday. That will have to do. I ran an extra mile on Monday and certainly worked out on Tuesday so I am not slacking.....

Today I thought I would beat the weather and run my 2 miles in the morning. It has looked like rain all day so I thought I better run while I can stay dry. Not that it ever matters. I sweat as if it's my job, so rain might actually feel good.

At any rate, since I had run 3 miles on Monday and wasn't sure I could (I had just returned from Africa with my students and hadn't done anything athletic in about a month so I thought I might be hurting - and I did hurt a bit), I thought I could polish off 2 miles in no time and with no effort.

God, I am a dumbass.

I was able to run the 2 miles without killing myself, but I was tired and sweating. I did feel good afterward, but getting to afterward took some effort. I am already planning ahead for my runs - when will I run, how will I squeeze the run into my day (I want to run in the morning before it gets too blinking hot), what will I do when I can't run on Saturday with the group?

I am also starting to worry about the fundraising. We are in a recession and I have decided to hit up my family and friends to support my training efforts. They already think I am God-damned insane. This pretty much eliminates all doubt.

Until tomorrow.....

A New Start

This blog has never really gotten off the ground. I think when I started this blog, I was training for something. Then I think I was using it to document my weight loss (which has been awesome). Or did I start it to document my weight loss and was then going to use it to document some training for something?

Who the hell knows.

At any rate, now I plan to use it to document my marathon training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. I did the century ride in 2004. The experience was so wonderful, I thought I would do it again.

There are other reasons I have decided to abuse my body by training for a 26.2 mile bruiser. Here they are:

• I am turning 40 on August 9. I am excited because it is a milestone birthday and because birthdays always include cake and booze. In order for me to eat a lot of cake and drink a lot of booze without gaining a lot of weight, I better be running for something!
• I am turning 40 on August 9. Yes, I've already said that, but this bullet is different. I can't turn 40 and just have cake and booze. I have to do something more than that. I have to challenge myself. Most people think 40 is an age in which your body fails you and you give up and resign yourself to aging gracefully. I fully intend to age gracefully, but I also intend to challenge myself physically and mentally. What better way than to run a marathon?
• It is on my lifetime list. Many call this their bucket list. I prefer lifetime list. Who knows why. I cycled 100 miles in 2004. Why not try for running 26.2 miles in 2009? Next year I plan to try the triathlon. Why couldn't my goals include getting up in the morning and sitting on my ass all day long? Because that would make me dreadfully dull. And I have a rule to never be dreadfully dull. I can be a bitch, but never dull.
• I have already lost 42 pounds of the 50 I wanted to lose. If I can't lose the remainder of the weight while training for a marathon, I'm not meant to lose it!
• The money I raise will help to eradicate blood cancers. I lost my father to cancer. Granted, it wasn't leukemia or lymphoma, but does that matter? Perhaps because of the money I am able to raise and the awareness I am able to garner, one person doesn't die of a blood cancer. One person is able to live. Imagine.
• I have never struggled with cancer, but have seen others struggle. I would love it if no one had to struggle with cancer again. I would love it if in the future I have to run a marathon for myself because no one needs me to raise money for a wonderful cause.
• My fight to run a marathon is nothing compared to the battle cancer patients fight. I think I am abusing my body, and I am, but cancer patients face abuse each day. My pain will be worth it to help alleviate the pain of at least one patient.
• My honored patient has a masters degree in Chemistry. That immediately makes him uber cool!

Please check this blog as I plan to update it as often as possible. It will document my fundraising and my training. For more information on how you may help, please visit my website.