I ran the bitch!
Well, most of it.
Well, I finished as an ultramarathoner.
I am a slow runner and was allowed to start the race earlier than others with other snails like me. When asked when I expected to finish the marathon if I started at 7 a.m., I said "Tuesday."
I did find a new buddy. She runs as slowly as me. I have never run with anyone before and didn't think that I would like it. Turns out, I kinda do.
We started the race at 7 a.m. It was still dark outside. And it was chilly. I was wearing my West Side Rowing Club jacket because it is warm, lightweight, kinda waterproof, and super cool.
The route was supposed to be well-marked. Turns out it wasn't. We ran about a half mile out of the way and had to backtrack. In retrospect, we should have kept right on going, but we didn't. We turned around.
You might be thinking, when you've run 26.2 miles, what's another mile? You might need to be slapped upside the head.
It was at around mile five that we were passed by the "serious runners." These are the runners who do this for fun and do this more than once. They also wear the funny sock shoes with toes and compression socks.
And I have to tell you that I find compression socks sexy. Or is it that I find those wearing compression socks sexy? Who can say? But looking at the serious runners speed past us I am reminded that runners are hot. They have nice bodies...and I liked looking at the men and women. I wasn't going to discriminate. Equally hot in compression socks.
I don't think anyone is getting laid wearing those stupid sock sneakers, though.
Not sexy.
Also not sexy, me at about mile 26.2.
I don't know how I finished this blasted marathon, but I did. I cried when I finished because I had to walk some of it. I wanted to run all of it. Then I thought, um, you just went 26.2 and then some. I think if you walked some of it, that's okay.
I also found out that I like the chocolate goo that they were handing out at several mile markers. No idea who makes it or what's in it, but thank you for giving it to me. It helped me get through.
And so did my buddy.
BTW, we came in DFL. DFL.
But we came in.
I was also upset about finishing last. My partner asked me, "Do you know what the finisher's medal looks like for the first person to cross the finish line and for the last person to cross?"
I was dumbfounded. I thought it was a trick question. It was.
"They are exactly the same."
Right you are. They are exactly the same.
Afterward I showered. One of the best showers of my life. I told my husband to hurry his ass up because I was hungry. He tends to putter. Then I got cranky. Dude, I haven't eaten in 8 hours and I've run a marathon. If you don't feed me, I am going to eat people hanging out in the hallway.
I had to put my class online today. I couldn't walk up and down the stairs very well. Turns out a marathon really hurts.
Really hurts.
