Impossible Goals

I had the worst day at work.  The damn semester hasn't even started yet and I feel overwhelmed.  So much to do!  I have to remind myself that it will get done.  I can certainly do it.

I had planned to do some sort of workout tonight, but my husband is priming the walls in two rooms so we have furniture everywhere.  I had no idea if I would have room to drag anything out.  When I walked in the door I said to myself, "hey, you can work out tomorrow and forget tonight."

Then I went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and stretched my hands over my head.  It never occurred to me that I couldn't touch the ceiling merely by stretching.  In our house in Alden, I would be able to put my hands flat on the ceiling if I reached overhead.  Not here in Franklinville.

That was good news.  This room was empty (we haven't redone it yet).  I could do yoga.  And holy hell, I needed it.

So I did.

It was the best I felt doing yoga in months.  Certainly the best yoga I've done in our new house.

I was also reminded of a saying I have on one of the pictures in my office at work and a saying I use on my blogs - "She likes to have goals that no one else can imagine, so they'll shut up about how they understand exactly what she's going through." Brian Andreas from StoryPeople

How could I forget that?  I do like to have goals no one else can imagine (or very few).  Where did that go?  Why did I abandon that for the ordinary and usual?  Hell no.  My goals right now seem ordinary, but ordinary will lead to extraordinary:

• Lose weight
• Gain fitness 
• Earn wellness
• Find peace

The extraordinary:

• Do another marathon
• Do a triathlon (dare I suggest an Ironman?)
• Write a book (or several)

And that's just what I'm thinking about today.  Wait until tomorrow!

30 becomes 45

My goal today was to bike in our front room for 30 minutes.  A few years ago my husband bought me one of those gizmos that you hook to your road bike to make it a stationary bike.  Best invention.  I had a hell of a day at work and I almost bagged my workout altogether - so many reasons to do so - it's cold outside (I wasn't biking outside), a storm is coming (literally and figuratively), I don't feel like it.

But I forced myself to do it.  I said, "Bike for 30 minutes.  You can do anything for 30 minutes."

I had my Ipod Shuffle with the best songs and I was home alone so I was belting those songs out.  Thank God we live in the middle of nowhere because no one needs to hear that sound being squealed aloud.

After several songs I looked at my watch and noticed that I had already biked 30 minutes.  I was feeling too good to stop so I biked for 15 more.

I had fallen off the wagon for several weeks but today proved that once you have a base, you can start again after a short break.  That's good to know.

Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow!  Is it bad that I am hoping for a snow day?

What goes down must then go up

I know that's not quite how the saying goes, but this is the saying that will work for me today.

I fell in our driveway on Monday as I was trying to get into my car to go to the chiropractor's office.  I recognize that if one is to fall, while heading to the chiropractor is a pretty good way to do it.

I did it with great aplomb.  Picture this - 5'11" heavyset woman falling ass over teacups.  I landed on my ass, full coffee mug flying, purse landing somewhere.  My thoughts in order:

• That hot coffee feels strangely good as it soaks through my pants (it was flipping cold on Monday morning).  Kinda good?
• Did I hit my head?  No, that's good news.
• Does anything feel broken?  No, more good news.
• Can I sit up?  Yes, news getting better.
• Oh no, my coffee mug is broken (I pride myself on using a coffee mug made by a friend that is ceramic and, therefore, recyclable).  Good news turns to bad.
• Quick scan - did any of my neighbors see me fall? Not so it would appear - very good!
• Can I stand?  Yes, by pulling myself up using the rearview mirror on my car.  Thank God I didn't yank it off the car!

Lesson learned - look before you walk.  It was so clearly icy, but I was in a hurry and excited to get to my appointment, that I didn't pay attention.  In my defense, one of my assistants came over later in the day and she fell in the same spot even after I warned her.  I know I shouldn't be excited by that, but since she isn't hurt either, we're both good.

It's now Thursday.  I've woken up each day in pain.  My lower and right back are very sore.  Also, my arse feels a tad sore.  I think I may have bruised something.  It's clearly muscular/surface pain, not something worse.  We all know the difference, I think.

Going for a walk yesterday was awesome!  I worry about sitting on my arse, though.  I spent most of today working from home which means I am sitting in a chair.  I am very good about getting up periodically and walking about, but I am still primarily sedentary.  Those with back pain should not be idle.

So I did yoga.  I have been doing Ashtanga yoga for years.  I have been out of practice, but I know when I need to hold a pose a little longer given what my body and mind need.  Today I needed an allover stretch, and I got it!  I feel terrific!

I am a tad disappointed with myself because I was getting very good at Ashtanga yoga - getting into very difficult poses and the like.  I know that is not what it should be like, but that's what I thought.  I see it as a way to relax and repair as well as a way to challenge myself.  I need all of those things in my life.

You can't get to this:

From awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com

If you don't start on your ass!  

Cheers!

Happy New Year!

I know that it is quite cliche to write a post on my training blog on New Year's Day.  Doesn't everyone think she is going to kick ass from here on out starting on this momentous day?  Sure she does!

I do!

I have been working with Amy since October and have adopted some very good habits.  I've been on the wagon and off.  Now I need to get serious.  Some of the things I know trip my up and cause me to falter:

• Stress - when I have too much going on in my life I stress eat.  I mean, I stress eat as if I am getting paid to stuff food in my mouth and my goal is a million dollars.
• Too many work dinners and functions - and none of them has healthy options, really.  I suppose I don't need to eat the appetizers and have a drink from the bar, but when in Rome....
• Negative thinking - well, I've eaten that bag of chips and not worked out today so I should throw the whole week away and start again next Monday.  And it's only Monday now.

I have many others but we don't need to dwell on them.  One thing I've learned (thank you, Amy), is that I need to have an answer to my negative talk.  Amy also suggested I name my negative self-talk so I did - Lance Armstrong.   Solutions to Lance's naysaying?

• Stress - don't eat.  Sit and meditate.  Think about all the good things that are happening and then think about how I might combat stress and prevent it from happening in the future.  Ask myself "Am I hungry or just stressed?"  I usually know the answer and it isn't bbq potato chips.
• Too many work dinners and functions - don't go to the bar and don't eat the appetizers.  Also, stay away from the dessert.  If it isn't really, really good, it isn't worth the calories.
• Negative thinking - I fell off the wagon.  So?  Get back on it right away!

It was also suggested that I name my positive thinking self-talk so I did - Betty White.  And she should kick Lance's ass every time!

Rather than recap the last few months (I was going to write in this blog about it, but that didn't happen as we can see (Lance), I am going to start fresh (Betty).

What did I do today?  It is a lovely day on the farm.  The snow is falling softly and it isn't too, too cold. My husband and I hitched up the dogs and headed up the hill.  Below are some photos from the adventure.

This is a view of our barn and backyard (to the left).  How do you not walk when this is what you see?  As a note, there were deer and fox tracks on the hill.

View of the barn from farther up the hill.

View from closer to the top of our property.  On a clearer day, you can see the valley in a better way.  I wouldn't trade the snowfall on this day for the clear view.  I'll get that for you later.

Wellness Coaching

I've hired a wellness coach.  Amy Moritz is a talented sports writer for The Buffalo News, a St. Bonaventure University School of Journalism and Mass Communication alumna, and wellness coach.  You may learn more about her by viewing her blog at Byline to the Finish Line.

I am tired of feeling tired, quite frankly.  I am tired of looking like a blob of flesh and hair becoming a bit too one with my easy chair.  It's time to get back into the game.

I often wonder why people fall so far off the wagon.  I know that I feel better when I work out and when I eat well.  Yes, chicken wings taste like a little nugget from heaven, but they don't make you feel good afterward.  So why do I eat them, among other things?  Instant gratification?  Stress eating (YES)?

It has been some time since I've posted to this blog and it's been that long since I've been in any kind of healthful routine.

I have charged Amy with kicking my ass.  I will also post regular updates to this blog.  If I am accountable, I have no choice but to succeed. Or I face ridicule, and I don't want that.

What we know today - Day One:

• I weigh 231 pounds.  That's right.  Granted, I am 5'11" so I can carry 231 pounds better than someone who is, say, 5'2", but that is no excuse.  I always said that when I looked down and saw my boobs and belly lined up, it was time to lose weight.  Now I have, as Pearl says, a "double."  That's a double roll of flab and they are now bigger than my boobs.  Yikes.  
• I have nowhere to go but down.  My goal is to lose 50 pounds and then check in to see where to go from there.  I have a feeling that 180 might be my weight.  Perhaps 170/175, but let's be reasonable.  I am muscular when you remove all the fat.
• I have a double chin and my arms flap when I wave.  It's just yucky.

What Amy will do:

• Check in with me regularly to gauge my progress.   
• Verbally beat me if I stray from my goals.
• Encourage me to carry on.
• Help me to set reasonable goals.

Why Amy:

• Amy is a talented woman.
• She has completed several ironman competitions (at least one and I believe more than one, but I could be mistaken).
• She also hosts women-only wellness events that I think are wonderful.
• I could have my husband, sister or other friends kick my ass, but it's not the same as someone outside the circle, so to speak.  I would be embarrassed if I didn't meet my goals working with Amy.  The same wouldn't be true of my husband, sister, other friends.

My first day I have scheduled a walk along the Allegheny River Trail.  It is autumn along the trail and it will be beautiful.  Water is also rejuvenating for me, so seeing the river as I walk will be refreshing.  

Cheers!

Why Did I Stop?

I was doing so well.  Now I can't get myself motivated to save my damn life.  And it might be as dire as that - to save my damn life.

It turns out I am not getting younger.  Life doesn't work that way no matter what you do. 

I am not getting healthier, although that is my own damn fault.

I am not fitting into my wonderful skinny clothes - my fault again.

We didn't even have much of a winter so I can't use the fact that it was snowing all the time as an excuse.  I have a home gym anyway, so what excuse would snow be?  Can I say that I am upset because I wanted to start cross country skiing this year but couldn't because the sport requires snow and we didn't have any?  NO - I have plenty of other things I can do.

So my new year's resolutions will start today - March 5.  It must be new year somewhere?

Yoga

I haven't done yoga in months. I bought a new yoga mat. It was woven by a group in India - fair trade, etc.. It is supposed to be guaranteed for 15 years. I don't know if I like it. It doesn't grip as well as the sticky mat does and it kinda hurts my hands in certain positions. In fact, my hands still had marks on them an hour later.

Maybe if I weighed less.....

Whenever I am away from yoga for any length of time, I miss it and also worry that I won't remember the poses or won't be able to do the poses. Turns out my body is pretty good.

And it turns out that my body missed yoga! I haven't felt this good after exercise in ages!

Our bodies seem to have this amazing memory.

Thank God.

And I felt completely serene and relaxed afterward. Meditative.

Or was that the glass of white wine I had afterward?